Lily and James
by Audrie Melone
Summary: A series of stories about James Potter and Lily Evans.
1. Chapter 1:Pimples

There was a loud boom, several shrieks, and then footsteps running down the stairs. Yet none of the Gryffindors flinched as they moved toward the portrait hole for breakfast. This was not the first time this had happened, nor the second. In fact, they had lost count of how many times this happened.

What was unusual about this morning, though, was that the common room was not filled with Lily Evans's yelling. Instead she had stopped at the foot of the stairs, smirking at the two boys who were howling with laughter. She didn't know how James Potter and Sirius Black had figured out how to get into the girls' dormitories, but she had fixed them this time.

Their laughter died away as the two boys realized that Lily was not about to launch into her usual tirade. Nor was she glaring at them; her smug expression was in fact rather disconcerting. She grinned in satisfaction as they looked up at her.

"Just as I thought," she said, before she turned and trotted up the stairs.

"What's she talking--," James gaped as he saw his friend's face.

"Prongs," Sirius started weakly. Across James's face had sprung large pimples that spelled out the word "wanker". "Does mine say the same as yours?"

"What's mine say?"

"'Wanker'."

James shook his head. "Yours is 'pervert'."

Frantically they attempted to erase the pimples from their faces, but to no avail; the pimples only grew larger. Eventually they gave up and went to Madame Pomfrey, who found their situation quite amusing. After bearing the humiliation of her laughter and comments about that "clever Lily", they found out that only Lily could remove them without permanent scarring.

Muttering angrily, James made his way down to catch what was left of breakfast.

"Look at the bright side, Prongs, at least most of the students will have left for class," Sirius said bracingly.

"True, but I'm still going to kill her."

"I thought you liked her."

"Oh, she went a little too far this time," snarled James.

"I actually think it was kind of clever. How do you think she knew we'd planted the Boomers?"

"I don't care—." He trailed off as they entered the dining hall and everyone turned toward them. Several Slytherins burst out in loud laughter, while numerous giggles were heard around the room. James wasn't sure but he could have sworn he saw Dumbledore hide a chuckle.

"Look suave," muttered Sirius, putting on a charming grin, and slipping his hands into his pockets.

James ran a hand through his hair and put on a smirk. He winked at several Hufflepuff girls who erupted into uncontrollable giggles.

"You still thinking of killing her," Sirius muttered as they made their way to the Gryffindor table.

"Yeah."

"I'll go to Azkaban with you then."

"Good morning," said Lily as she passed them on her way out.

"Think you're funny, Evans," growled James.

"Actually, yes. And apparently a few other people do too," she called over her shoulder. James and Sirius glared after her as she swept from the room, joining her friends at the doorway.

"Why didn't you hex her?" demanded Sirius.

James shrugged, his anger suddenly gone, replaced by hunger as his stomach growled. "Why didn't you, mate?"

"'Cuz as good as I am, I can't hold off you and her. So why didn't you?"

"I think I'll lie low until she removes the pimples. Then Lily Evans is going to have the living daylights pranked out of her."

Sirius chuckled as they sat down. "Sounds good to me!"

By the end of the day, James was ready to hex Lily Evans regardless of having the pimples removed. He had been pointed and laughed at all day. Every time he'd tried to utter a hex though, his voice had become squeaky. He'd gotten off a few non-verbal ones though.

He traipsed into the common room late from Quidditch practice and dealing with a couple of annoying Slytherins. He was halfway to the stairs when he heard a deep sigh. He turned to find Lily Evans rising from her seat.

"Come here," she said. He was debating whether or not to ignore her or hex her when he found his feet already moving toward her. When he stopped before her, she drew out her wand and gently touched it to his face.

He felt the pimples recede and when he put his hand to his face, it was smooth once more.

"Congratulations Potter, you made it through a day without asking me out," she said quietly.

He wondered why she sounded so forlorn but decided not to agitate her at the moment. The day was far too fresh in his mind. Moony's serves-you-right glances and smirks had nettled him and his team had found it hilarious to refer to him as 'Wanker' all through practice.

"Thanks," he said curtly. "Enjoy your fun today?"

She sighed again. "For a while, yes. But then, well, I felt kind of bad, even though you and Sirius deserved it."

"How—."

Lily looked at him sharply. "No one likes to be scared out of her mind just for opening her trunk. And you got a taste of what it's like when people laugh at you and talk about you behind your back because someone else was picking on you. You know, that's what it's like for those you pick on."

James opened his mouth to retort, but stopped. He was suddenly reminded of why he liked her so much. He ceaselessly pranked her, teased her, goaded her, but every time she got him back she felt regretful about it. Some would say Lily Evans was weak, but James would disagree. He knew no one who could rival her compassion.

Why did she look so sad at the moment? As angry as he had been that morning, he wanted to hug her now, to hear what was bothering her so he could stop it. He didn't know how she would respond to that though. So he settled for making her smile.

"So, Evans, wanna go out with me?" he asked, wriggling his eyebrows at her.

She sighed. "Potter, can you make it through one day without asking me out?"

"What d'you say? Madame Pudifoot's—,"

"Uggh, you couldn't get me in there if you swore never to ask me out again!" she cried with disgust.

James was surprised. Every girl he had dated had dragged him to that horrid place. The worse was that Valentine's day with Evrina Peirce. He'd wanted to throw up with all the hearts swirling about. At least if he ever got Evans to go out with him, he knew they wouldn't end up there.

"Three Broomsticks works too," he added hastily.

"Potter, no. I'm not going out with you."

Maybe it was that this was one of their civilest conversations or that they were alone, but James suddenly sighed. "Look, Evans, what do I have to do to get you to go out with me? I'd do anything."

She smiled weakly. "I think you know what you have to do. But I'm not worth it. Good night."

Lily stepped past him and headed toward the stairs to her dormitory. Her heels were about to disappear as she went up the stairs when James turned toward her. Once more that evening he didn't know what made him say it, but he called softly after her, "Lily, you're worth anything and everything."

Her feet paused and then he heard her sob as she ran up the stairs. What had he done?


	2. Chapter 2:Cheezy Lines

_Okay, several things. As someone pointed out, this isn't really a drabble. Nor can I exactly call it a one shot. I guess it's more like a series of events. The first two chapters go together. But I'm not sure about the third. _

_Second,there may seem to be some non-sequitors: like how James was so angry with Lily that morning and now he's throwing cheezy lines at her to make her feel better. But I think that is a part of James "growing up".I mean he didn't do it over night. His response that morning is his immaturity: his inability to recognize that maybe he did get what he deserved. But his maturity comes when he is able to forgive Lily for VERY publicly humiliating him._

_Third. Yes, not everything is explained in this one. Like how James and Sirius got into the girls' dormitory. Or how Lily knew what they were up to. Or what she did to make the pimples appear on their faces. Or how Lily knows about Remus being a werewolf.I will tell everyone this. She does take pity on Sirius and removes his pimples the next morning.  
_

_Fourth, since this isn't a full blown story, I guess I have to give some background. This chapter, and the previous one, takes place toward the end of Lily and James's sixth year._

"I just made Lily Evans cry," said James pitifully as he entered his dormitory to find Sirius sprawled out on his bed, dejectedly gazing at his face in his mirror, Remus doing some reading and Peter digging through his trunk.

"What did you do?" asked Sirius with interest. "Why didn't you let me in on it?"

"I told her she was worth anything and everything," said James.

Remus snorted. "I hope that's not a direct quote," he said, looking up from his book. "I'd cry too if someone told me that."

"What do you mean? She looked upset and I was trying to cheer her up."

"Why would you do that?" demanded Sirius. "After what she did—hey, she took off your pimples!"

"That attitude may be why you still have 'pervert' written across your face," retorted James.

"What happened to the "killing her plan" this morning? We're still on for the prankfest right?"

Remus ignored Sirius. "Look Prongs, that line 'you're worth anything and everything' might work on a sobbing girl you've just dumped, but a, that girl worships you and would believe any BS that comes out of your mouth, and b, Lily Evans is a bit more sincere than that."

"Hold on a second," cried Sirius, jerking up. "Let me get something straight here. You're feeling sorry for her now! I don't get it, how can you go from being ready to throttle her this morning to trying to comfort her this evening? Did she obliviate you? Do you not remember what she did to us? "

"Maybe it's cuz he loves her," said Peter, emerging from his trunk with several chocolate frogs grasped in his fist. "My mum says folks are funny that way when they love someone. One minute—,"

"I do not love Lily Evans," protested James.

"Why do you keep asking her out then?" Peter pointed out as he sat on his bed.

"That one's easy, Wormtail," Sirius said impatiently. "'Cuz she's one of the few girls he can't get. It's a challenge."

Peter shrugged as he unwrapped a chocolate frog. "Sorry. But it does seem a little odd. I mean, James hasn't cared before whether or not he made her cry."

"Look, Pete, remember that agreement we made in third year? We're allowed to date, but we can't actually, you know, be in a serious relationship. So James can't love Lily."

"Padfoot, it doesn't work that way," Remus sighed.

"Yes, it does," insisted Sirius. "You don't love her, do you James?"

James shook his head. "Of course not. Besides, I'm only sixteen. So, how 'bout that prankfest, Padfoot?"

"That sounds more like it," exclaimed Sirius.

Obviously the chocolate frogs weren't enough to hold Peter until the next morning, for it was not long before he and Sirius snuck out under James's borrowed invisibility cloak to the kitchen.

James was pulling off his Quidditch robes when he remembered something Lily had said. "Hey, Moony, Lily told me that she thinks I know what I have to do to get her to go out with me. What do you think that is?"

Remus looked up from his book and sighed. "James as smart as you are, you worry me sometimes."

"That's helpful," James retorted sarcastically.

"Prongs, I think she means you have to grow up a little. You can't just throw your usual antics and lines at Lily and expect her to go all mushy for you. You have to show her you're sincere. Your usual pick up lines just won't cut it."

"So I kind of screwed up with the 'you're worth anything and everything'."

Remus thought a moment. "In a manner of speaking yes, but I think you were trying to be sincere. You just have to learn how to come across that way; you can't pull things out of trashy romance novels or wherever you got that line. You _have _improved though with the hexing everyone in sight and everything. And your ego's not as big as it used to be."

"That's comforting. Lily still won't go out with me."

His friend chuckled. "I thought it was. You're a few steps closer than you were last year."

"Okay, you guys can stop going on about the lake incident," said James, rolling his eyes.

"Did I mention that?" Remus asked in mock innocence.

"It was implied," grumbled James, pulling on his pajamas and crawling into bed.

"One last thing," Remus said quietly. "It's not just Lily keeping you from going out with her. It's Sirius too."

James opened his mouth to protest and stopped. He was far too right. "Okay, Moony, your helpful insight stops for tonight."

Remus shrugged. "Fine by me."

Lily stopped outside her dormitory and sank to the floor, not wanting to explain to her friends why she was crying. She'd felt so triumphant this morning at catching James and Sirius, but right now she felt horrible.

She pulled a piece of parchment from her pocket. Written in letters cut from the _Daily Prophet_ it read:

Think you're clever, Mudblood, showing up purebloods? No matter how smart the professors tell you you are, how pretty you think you are, no matter how many points you win for Gryffindor, no matter what awards you win, or whether you become Head Girl, you'll never be a true witch

Lily knew the letter was stupid, but it hurt. Most of all because it voiced the very doubts that crept into her mind every time someone called her a mudblood. She frequently wondered if she was just building a glamour about herself, one that could be dispelled at the slightest flick of someone's wand to reveal just an average girl who didn't deserve what Lily Evans, prefect and predicted Head Girl, had. Then there was the familiar sense of belonging nowhere. Petunia shut her out from the happiness of the muggle world and she was somehow barred from the true wizarding world. She felt as if she hung on the fringes of both worlds, not completely fitting into either.

Then there was James Potter. She would never tell anyone, least of all him— she could barely admit it herself—how much she liked him. She had since third year. For all his pranking, all his teasing, all his arrogance, she liked him. And she had hated that. She had hated feeling as if she could be one of the girls that giggled over everything he did or followed him in an unofficial fan club.She hated wondering how in the world she could ever like him. She'd thought that maybe he would grow up, stop being such a bully and an arrogant git. She knew he was a much better person than he pretended to be. There was the way he protectively kept Remus's secret, and the way he always looked out for his other friends and those on his Quidditch team. He'd been the first to befriend Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin when no one else would. And for all his coolness, the only one he consistently picked on was Severus Snape. Everyone else was treated the same way when it came to his hexes; no one was spared because of their popularity or their blood.

Tonight he'd been so different in the common room. He'd almost looked as if he was trying to make her laugh, to be genuine. Until he'd thrown that line at her: "Lily you're worth everything and anything." She'd heard him use that line before. She'd accidentally walked in on him breaking up with a Ravenclaw last year. He'd said, "I know you'll think you're worthless because I'm breaking up with you, but you're not. You're worth anything. I just don't think this relationship will work out. I'd like to be friends though."

She'd thought he was changing, but he was as insincere as ever. She wanted to say 'yes' to him, but she couldn't. If she did so now, things just wouldn't work out and she might actually come to hate him. She also wanted to be sure he really liked her; that she wasn't just a girl he couldn't have. As she headed up the steps, she'd hoped he'd say something to prove he was different that he didn't just think of her as another girl to go out with. But he'd blown it.

This was ridiculous. She was actually waiting for James to grow up so she could go out with him. How much could you like someone?

Lily hated to admit it, but she liked him a lot.


	3. Chapter 3:Lycanthropy

"Now," announced Professor Harker, "I will be assigning you the subjects for your essay. Essays are due by the end of this week, four feet of parchment."

James's hand shot into the air. The Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher arched an eyebrow. "Potter?"

"May I have werewolves, Professor?"

"Topics are assigned randomly, Mr. Potter."

"But Professor—,"

Professor Harker narrowed her eyes at him. It was well known that she and James Potter did not get along. "Five points from Gryffindor for back-talking a teacher."

"No, but—,"

Lily turned to glare at James. He and Sirius had already lost eighty points between them for being caught out of bed the night before. Why couldn't he just keep his big mouth shut?

"Shall I take another five, Mr. Potter?"

Remus Lupin was tugging on James's arm and whispering urgently in his ear. James scowled at Professor Harker, but shook his head.

"Very well then." She pulled a jar full of pieces of parchment from her drawer and used her wand to distribute a slip to each student.

Lily pulled hers from the air and opened it. _Werewolves_, it read in Professor Harker's neat script. She sighed and stuffed the slip into her bag. Great, if Potter found out she'd never hear the end of it until she switched with him. Perhaps she should just swap now to save herself the headache. No, she decided. Potter got his way far too often.

"Class dismissed," announced the professor as she swept into her office, no doubt avoiding the complaints Potter was bound to give her.

"So, what did you get?" asked Marlene as she and Lily left the classroom.

Lily caught sight of Potter out of the corner of her eye. "Tell you later," she muttered.

Later on, Lily was making her way to dinner with a group of friends. Their chatter fell away as James Potter came charging toward them. He grabbed Lily's arm and pulled her from the group.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing? Get off of me, Potter!" Lily protested as he dragged her away from her friends. She tried to dig her heels in, but he was too strong. She waved her friends on. There was no reason why they should be late for dinner because James Potter couldn't leave her alone. Her friends hesitated for a moment, but then continued on without her, glancing back at her over their shoulders.

"We need to talk," he muttered.

"About what?" demanded Lily.

"About your essay assignment."

"What about it? You can stop dragging me now. I'm not going to run away."

He let go and faced her. "You have werewolves."

"Says who?" retorted Lily, crossing her arms.

"No one else has it."

"That doesn't mean I have it. Maybe 'werewolves' wasn't in the jar."

James looked startled for a moment, as if he hadn't considered that possibility. He ran a hand through his mop of hair. "Okay, then, what do you have?"

"I don't feel like I need to share that with you. Besides, why does it matter to you so much?" She glared at him.

"Because it does," he argued.

Lily laughed derisively. "Oh, c'mon Potter. You sound like a four year old. Honestly, 'because it does'?"

"Why does it matter so much to you then?" he shot back.

"Because you can't always get what you want."

"I do not."

"You do too."

"Do not."

"Okay name one time you haven't gotten what you wanted." He didn't answer for a moment and a triumphant grin spread across Lily's face. "See I—,"

"I've got a time I didn't get what I wanted," he said slyly. Lily swallowed at the look on his face and arched an eyebrow. "I can actually name quite a few times."

"Like when?"

"Like every time I asked you out." Lily blinked, not knowing what to say. "C'mon Evans. Give me your topic and I won't ask you out again."

It was a tempting offer—a very tempting one. But Lily was stubborn; James Potter was not going to get her to give in.

"No." She turned on her heel and stalked off.

"You're just being stubborn!" he called at her back.

"So what if I am?" she returned.

"You know what, Evans, that's why you have such a hard time making friends, because you act like you know what's best for everyone. Well, guess what, you don't!"

Lily whirled around. "Did you think that was going to get me to trade with you?" she asked coldly, her green eyes narrowed.

"Ha, like you were ever going to," sneered James.

"I don't have time for this. I'm late for dinner as it is." She turned once again and hurried down the corridor.

"We're not done discussing this," he yelled after her retreating back.

"You may not be, but I am."

James seethed as he watched her disappear. "Bloody, stuck up, little—,"

"I knew we shouldn't have let you handle the situation," quipped a voice. James turned to see Sirius standing behind him.

"You were here the whole time and you didn't back me up?" demanded James.

"Look, we really need to work on your girl skills. How're you ever going to get a girl if every conversation goes as wrong as that one?" Sirius strolled past him toward the dining hall.

James hurried to catch up. "Look I just don't want her to figure it out."

"C'mon what makes you think she will?"

"She's not stupid, Sirius."

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious."

"Well you made it seem as if you hadn't thought about it."

"I mean, so what if she figures it out?"

James stopped. "Sirius, we're talking about Remus's _life_ here. She could ruin him if she found out, she could—,"

"Okay, spare me the dramatics. Do you really think Lily Evans would do that? Setting aside your bias for the moment, that is."

"No," he replied slowly. "But that gives her something against us."

"Do you think she'll use it?"

"You never know with girls. They can stoop pretty low for revenge."

Sirius whistled and rocked back on his heels. "And here I was thinking you were hopeless when it came to girls."

"Shut up, Sirius."

The boy grinned. "C'mon mate, don't worry about it any more. Remus isn't worried. Besides, like he said, the bigger a deal you make out of it, the more suspicious she'll be."

James just grunted.

Lily stormed into the dining hall, angrily tossing her hair over her shoulder as she sat down.

"Dare I ask, but what did James want?" asked Marlene as Lily jerked a platter of roast beef toward her.

"Probably a shag in a closet," supplied Aura absently. Marlene glanced unappreciatively at their friend before she turned back to Lily. "What? He has before, after that time he asked her—."

"I'd prefer it if you did not mention all the things Potter has asked me to do, Aura. I'd rather not lose my appetite," interrupted Lily.

"And I want to know what he wanted," Marlene pressed.

"He wanted to swap topics for the Defense Against the Dark Arts essay."

"Why?"

"I don't know. He seemed really pressed about switching, but he wouldn't tell me why."

"So did you switch?" inquired Aura.

Lily arched an eyebrow and her friend chuckled. "Of course, I don't know why I asked."

"But what did he say?"

"Marlene, why are you so interested?" Lily asked curiously.

"Because when you came in you looked like you did the last time he pranked you."

"Oh, you know how it is with Potter. He can't say two words without being a git," Lily said airily. Marlene looked at her friend sternly and Lily sighed. "Fine, fine. Potter one upped me," she muttered.

Aura suddenly became interested. "Really? How?"

"I'd rather not talk about it," Lily sniffed. "I'm hoping he forgets."

With a sigh, Aura let the subject drop and allowed her redheaded friend to steer the conversation elsewhere.

For the rest of the week, Lily could not help but wonder why James had been so adamant about switching topics. By Wednesday he'd given up trying to trade with her, but his persistence seemed to have had something more to it—as if he had wanted the subject for a better reason than just that he wanted to do werewolves. But, as he had never given her more than "because" as a reason, she had not felt the need to give in.

A few weeks later Lily trudged to the hospital wing after James had "accidentally" ignited the ends of her braids during Charms when he was supposed to be putting a warming charm on a teacup.

Remus Lupin was leaving just as she opened the door. He appeared pale and weary, and a few scratches lined his cheeks.

"Hey Remus," she said, surprised to see him. She'd thought he was going to visit his grandmother who was very sick, as he did every month. "Are you okay? How is your grandmother?" While most conversations with James Potter and Sirius Black ended in a shouting match between herself and them, Lily found their quiet and diffident partner in crime far more tolerable.

He blushed and stuttered. "Uh-yeah. I'm fine. And my grandmother is doing better—um, for now that is. I've gotta go, but I'll see you about, Lily." And with that, he hurried off.

Lily glanced after him. How strange. If he'd been to see his grandmother, why was he coming out of the hospital wing? Well, it was none of her business. She entered the hospital wing to find Madame Pomfrey. The nurse sighed when Lily approached her at her desk.

"Do you Gryffindors enjoy keeping me busy? I swear I see at least three of you each day."

"Sorry Madame Pomfrey, but James Potter lit my hair on fire," Lily explained, holding her braids out for the nurse to see.

The woman tsked as she drew out her wand. "And that boy manages to end up here or send someone else up here once a day!" She touched the wand to Lily's singed hair. By the time all the damaged hair was removed, Lily had lost nearly four inches.

"I can give you a hair growing potion, dear," said Madame Pomfrey, waving away the hair that had been removed.

Lily fingered her much shorter hair. "That's alright. I kind of like it this length." Of course she had yelled at Potter when he had lit her hair on fire, and even shed a few tears, but during her walk to the hospital wing, she'd decided that having it shorter wouldn't be so bad. She'd always been afraid to cut her hair, wondering if she would look funny with shorter hair, but now that it was shorter, she kind of liked it. Her head felt lighter and her neck felt as if a small weight had been lifted from it.

"That's fine. But if you change your mind, just come back in."

"Thank you," said Lily before she left.

"Lily, your hair!" wailed Aura when Lily met up with her at lunch.

"I like it," Carlotta, another of Lily's friends, piped up. "Not that I didn't like it long, but it looks good like that."

"Don't say that too loud," whispered Lily. "I don't want Potter to get any more ideas about ways to improve my appearance."

Marlene rolled her eyes. "For someone who was yelling about losing her hair, you sure got over it pretty quickly."

Lily scowled. "Well he should have been paying attention. He could have lit _me_ on fire! He was so busy trying to get Adele Parsner to look at him."

"She knew. She kept whispering at me the whole time, asking if he was looking at her," Aura complained.

"I just don't see what the girls see in him," said Lily, shaking her head.

"He's cool, cute, and plays Quidditch," Carlotta listed. Her eyes twinkled. "I'd say there's a lot to see. He also has a _very_ attractive best friend."

"Not you too," groaned Marlene. "First we have to deal with Aura's crush on Remus, now you're gushing about Sirius and James—,"

"Excuse me," retorted Carlotta, "but who was the one giggling at everything Sirius said during Charms today?"

"I—he probably put some kind of cheering charm on me," she muttered. "Well, I'm off. Got a bit of Astronomy homework to do before class tonight."

"Why bother? It's going to be dark tonight with no moon," Carlotta pointed out. "You can whip it up during class."

"No you can't," stated Lily. "Class is not the time to be doing homework."

Carlotta and Marlene rolled their eyes. They'd long ago given up trying to convince Lily that not every assignment had to be finished before class.

"I just don't want to have to do last night's and tonight's homework with Quidditch practice and everything," explained Marlene. She waved and strolled away.

"Like the new do, Evans," called a voice. "Looks more like hair now, rather than a rug attached to your head."

Lily whipped around to see James Potter rising from the Gryffindor table. "Shut up, Potter," she snapped. "At least it's not a dirty mop like yours."

James ran a hand through his hair, making it stand even more on end, and grinned at her. "I prefer to call it windblown."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She turned back to her friends, to see Carlotta gazing at her as she twirled a strand of her brown curls around her finger. "What?"

"I think you like him, Lily," she said.

"You're joking, right?"

"I don't know," Aura added, a grin spreading across her face, "I mean, we all know about hidden attraction. You two just argue to hide your true feelings because you both don't want to admit that you were wrong about the other."

Lily laughed, shaking her head. "Okay, but I don't know how you can think that when Potter and I can't even be around one another without arguing."

"Maybe an empty room for a few hours will create some understanding," suggested Carlotta.

"Of course," replied Lily, standing and hoisting her bag onto her shoulder. "We'll come to an understanding when one of us is lying on the floor petrified."

Her friends rose. "I bet you they're secretly going out," Carlotta told Aura.

"Yeah, I bet they have rendezvous in the middle of the night," added Aura.

"Mhm, and they probably think they're so clever because no one else has figured it out 'til now."

"Bet you they're gonna get married. They just bicker so they can have stories to tell their kids."

"Potter will have enough stories to tell his children without bickering with me," protested Lily. "That is supposing he has any; I don't know who would be crazy enough to marry him."

"There she goes again, trying to distract us," Aura told Carlotta, ignoring Lily.

"But we just won't fall for it anymore. I bet she calls him Jamsie Poo in secret."

"Or Jame Jame."

"Or Jimmie."

"Or Jimsie."

"Or Jim Jim." Aura and Carlotta giggled as they threw out more and more outrageous pet names. Lily simply shook her head and walked ahead of them. They were having too much fun to listen to the truth. James Potter was a prat through and through and Lily certainly did not like him.

Lily had a sneaking suspicion; it was really quite a ridiculous one, but…She pulled out her calendar. It was carefully marked with the days of Remus Lupin's absences. She'd been curious after she had run into him coming out of the hospital wing when he should have been visiting his grandmother. She would have disregarded the incident if he hadn't appeared sickly and been covered in scratches, and if she hadn't noticed his absence from astronomy that night. And if James hadn't been so persistent in trying to convince her to trade topics. For the past two months she had kept careful record of the days he was gone. Just as she had thought, all the days matched the time of the full moon. Every symptom, every indication of a werewolf she had written about in her essay was there.

Lily sat back with a gasp. Remus Lupin was a werewolf.

Should she tell? Who should she tell? Obviously Potter knew about it, which meant Pettigrew and Black probably knew too. Did the teachers know though? What if they didn't? Lupin could hurt someone. Where did he go during his transformations? She had to tell someone; people could be in danger.

Lily hung back after Transfiguration the next day. She'd been distracted all through class, wondering how to tell Professor McGonagall that she thought that one of the students in her year was a werewolf. After class, she urged Marlene, Aura, and Carlotta to go on without her. When the classroom was empty, Lily approached Professor McGonagall, who was seated at her desk, sorting through parchments.

"Professor McGonagall." Lily's voice came out high and thin.

The woman looked up from her sorting. "Miss Evans, is something wrong? You appeared distracted during class today."

Lily swallowed and nodded. "May I—may I have a word? In private?"

"Of course. Come." Professor McGonagall escorted Lily to her office and indicated a seat before her desk. Lily sat down as her professor rounded her desk. Professor McGonagall flicked her wand at the door and then summoned a tartan tin.

"A biscuit, Miss Evans?" she offered.

Lily shook her head, her mouth dry. She cleared her throat. "Erm," she was beginning to regret her decision to tell a professor. She was going to sound very foolish.

Professor McGonagall set the tin aside and sat down opposite Lily. "Now what is it that you wanted to discuss Miss Evans?"

Lily felt her cheeks warm. She could still just say never mind and hurry away. But there were possibly students in danger—that is if Lupin really was a werewolf. She had to take the risk. "P-p-professor, I think that—that Remus Lupin is a werewolf." She couldn't look at her teacher.

The room was very silent for a moment and Lily slouched in her chair, wishing she could disappear. This had been a stupid idea; she was an idiot. Wouldn't the professors, especially ones such as Professor McGonagall, Professor Harker, and especially Professor Dumbledore know if there were a werewolf at Hogwarts?

"Why do you think that?" Professor McGonagall asked quietly. She sounded neither shocked nor amused.

Slightly encouraged, Lily explained about the essay, her encounter with Lupin in the hospital wing, and the calendar she had kept. For some reason she decided not to mention Potter trying to trade essay subjects. He must have his own reasons for not telling anyone before now.

"Have you spoken to anyone else about this?"

Lily looked up, surprised that Professor McGonagall was taking her so seriously. "Er—no. I didn't want to spread any rumors or make false accusations."

The witch nodded. "Well, Miss Evans, I must ask that you neither repeat nor communicate your knowledge to anyone else."

"You mean you knew he was a werewolf?" she demanded, shocked. "He could hurt someone by accident, Professor! Werewolves have no control in their wolf form!"

Professor McGonagall smiled thinly. "Many precautions have been taken to ensure that Mr. Lupin does not harm other students during his transformation."

"Oh."

"Are you afraid of Mr. Lupin now?"

Lily blinked in surprise. "No, I mean, he's only a werewolf during the full moon and if precautions have been taken…"

"Many in the Wizarding world would not view his condition that way."

Lily nodded. "I know, I read that while I was doing research for my essay; werewolves face many prejudices in the Wizarding world, but I don't think that's fair."

Professor McGonagall arched an eyebrow. "Many don't consider them full wizards."

"And many don't consider me a full witch or whatever because I'm a Muggle-born," Lily replied. She sighed. "Many times werewolves cannot help what they have become. Why should anyone be punished for something he has no control over?"

"A very astute observation," nodded her professor. "Do you have any more concerns in regard to Mr. Lupin?"

Lily shook her head. "No, Professor."

Professor McGonagall nodded. "May I expect that your knowledge of Mr. Lupin's lycanthropy will not be spread?"

"Of course. I know how I've been treated sometimes for being a Muggle-born; it would be much worse for Lupin. I swear not to tell."

"Very good, then. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some essays to grade. Would you like a note of excuse for Professor Flitwick?"

"Yes, please."

Professor McGonagall summoned a parchment and quill and quickly composed Lily's letter before sending her student off.

Lily left Professor McGonagall's office feeling much better.


	4. Chapter 4:Flying

_This may sound weird, but I would like to thank Pride3 for his/her honesty.S/he has excellent constructive criticism.Not only does s/he say that a chapter is lacking in,but s/he indicates what is lacking. I hope s/he will bear with me and continue to offer his/her candid feedback. Thank you. _

_Takes place around November of James and Lily's seventh year._

Lily looked up from her work as someone cleared his throat before her. Peter Pettigrew stood on the opposite side of her table, fidgeting with a piece of parchment in his hands.

"Yes?"

"Oh, uh, hi Lily. Um, James asked me to give this to you," he said in a rush. He thrust the parchment at her and hurried off before she could thank him. Lily frowned at the parchment, wondering if James was setting her up for a prank. Peter had appeared incredibly nervous about giving her a simple piece of parchment.

Carefully she unfolded the note. _Meet me on the Quidditch pitch after practice. Wear something very warm. James._

She wondered what he wanted. They generally discussed Head's business in between classes or in the room set aside for the Head Boy and Head Girl.

Lily checked her watch; it was only a half an hour before the end of practice. What had taken Peter so long to give her the note? She decided to stop her homework and head out to catch the end of the practice. After all, it was a Friday evening and she had the entire weekend. She returned her things to her bag and stood.

"Where are you going?" asked Aura, glancing up from her work.

"James asked me to meet him."

"Oh. Head's business?"

Lily shrugged. "He asked me to meet him on the Quidditch pitch so I doubt it."

Aura nodded. "Oh, well then, have fun." She returned to her ancient runes text, quickly scribbling something in the margin of her textbook.

"Do you want to come?" asked Lily.

Aura shook her head. "No, you go on."

"Okay." She picked up her bag and went to her dormitory. She set her bag by her bed and changed into warmer robes before pulling on a cloak, hat, and scarf. Why had James felt it necessary to tell her to dress warmly? The weather had been cold for awhile now.

She returned downstairs to the common room and made sure at least one of the Gryffindor prefects was in the room. Carlotta, who was tutoring a third year, waved as Lily left through the portrait hole.

Lily arrived at the Quidditch pitch and made her way up into the Gryffindor stands. Over head, the Gryffindor team carried out a drill. Lily recognized James by his unruly black hair and glasses as he zoomed up the field, the quaffle clutched beneath his arm. One of the beaters sent a bludger rocketing toward him and he swerved, tossing the quaffle to Marlene in the same motion. She caught it and a fast paced volley took place between she and James until the third chaser appeared seemingly out of nowhere before the goal. Marlene had barely caught the ball before she hurled it to the third chaser who put it through the right hoop.

James called in the rest of the team. The two beaters captured the bludgers and returned them to a case before joining the rest of the team. He spoke to them for a few minutes before they all broke apart, most landing and heading for the changing rooms. Marlene flew over to Lily.

"Hey, Lils. What are you doing here?"

"Meeting James. Nice play."

Marlene laughed, pushing her windswept bangs from her eyes. "That's a basic one, Lily. Doesn't work too often on Ravenclaw. We just run it a few times to perfect it."

"Oh, I see."

"Well, I'm not going to keep you from your little rendezvous. If things get steamy, I'd suggest not using the Gryffindor changing room—someone always forgets something and has to come back." She winked at Lily and took off into a dive.

Lily sighed. When was Marlene going to get tired of insinuating a romantic relationship between her and James? She hurried down the stairs to meet James.

He was leaning against one of the goal posts. He attempted to smooth his hair as Lily got closer.

"So, you got my note?"

"Why wouldn't I have?"

"Well, when it comes to Peter, he can be a bit strange about talking to you. I was five minutes late to practice trying to persuade him to find you to give it to you."

"He did seem kind of nervous when he gave it to me," Lily recalled. "Why?"

"You can be intimidating," James said with a grin. "Good looks, brains, quick with a wand…"

"You can stop flirting, James," Lily laughed, though she was flattered.

"Not to mention one of the few people in this school who has actually carried out their threats against me and Sirius. Or actually, one of the few who has actually threatened us."

"Severus Snape has too," she pointed out.

"Yes well, that's entirely another matter."

"I don't—,"

"See why he's such a git? Ah ignorance is bliss sometimes," he teased.

Lily shook her head. "I'm not going to waste my breath arguing with you on that one. Obviously what I say falls on deaf ears. What did you want anyway?"

James blushed a little bit now. "I wanted to show you something."

"On the Quidditch pitch?" Lily raised an eyebrow.

"Er—no. In the air, actually." His broom jumped into his hand. Lily looked from his expectant expression to the broom and then back to him.

"No way you're getting me on that thing," she said stoutly.

"Just try it," he urged.

"Why?"

"Well, I guess, I guess I just want you to understand what it's like for me sometimes—why I like Quidditch so much. Why it's so important to me."

"That certainly is not the way to do it. I've flown before and it was not enjoyable at all. I'll keep my feet on the ground, thank you very much."

"Come on, just give it one more shot," James pleaded.

Lily frowned as something fluttered in her chest. As James had become more and more mature over the past year, it had become much more difficult for her to refuse him and pretend as if she simply tolerated him. Some days she just wanted to lean over and kiss him and get it all over with. Other times she was afraid what would happen if she did admit that she liked him. Would he lose interest once the triumph of the catch set in? Would she ever be more than just a goal? Lily was too afraid to find out and so every time something urged her toward him, she shrank back, placing a cool barrier between them. Yet each time she did so, James's confusion and hurt over her behavior bothered her until she was right back at wanting to kiss him.

"Fine," she snapped, holding her hand out for the broom.

He gave it to her and watched carefully as she mounted it and gripped the handle. James patiently showed her how to properly position her hands.

"Good," he said when she finally got it. "Now don't grip it too tightly or your arms lock up. You want your arms as loose as possible so that the motion of the broom is smoother. Why are you so tense?"

"Maybe because I'm entrusting you with my life," Lily replied, rolling her eyes. "I should probably be in St. Mungo's right now for such an insane notion."

"Lily, dear, you should have been in St. Mungo's psycho ward years ago. Your parents and professors just didn't have the heart to do that to you."

"Thanks," she said, dryly, "I'd've been insulted if you hadn't told me that I don't know how many times before."

James chuckled as he ran a hand through his hair. "Okay then, I think you're all set to take off."

Lily bit her lip, unsure how well her flying would go. While she could fly straight fairly decently, her heart threatened to beat through her chest each time she turned. She clenched and unclenched her hands on the handle.

Suddenly James swung his leg over the broom and wrapped his arms around her to grip the handle just ahead of her hands.

"What are you doing?" she cried, blushing at his warmth pressed against her back. "Get off, I can do it myself!"

James sighed. "You would be a whole lot better if you just admitted you were scared, Lily."

"I am not scared," she said a little too quickly. Her heart beat had sped up though and the blood pounded in her ears. This whole thing was a really bad idea.

"Just relax. Shut your eyes and count to three."

Lily did as he said, taking a deep breath.

"Ready?" he asked.

"For what?" she asked breathlessly.

"Lily, you're not relaxing."

"Oh, just get off, so I can get this over with."

"I'm going to kick off on the count of three," James said.

"But—,"

"One,"

"James, this broom,"

"two,"

"If you even,"

"Three."

She felt his legs give a powerful push and then they were rising into the air. Lily sucked in her breath as the wind rushed at them. "It holds both of us?" she gasped.

"Well, we're flying aren't we?"

"Shut up."

She gasped as he leaned slightly to the side, turning the broom. They looped around the pitch three times, James urging the broom faster each time. After her initial shock, Lily began to enjoy the flight. There was something comforting about having James behind her; a comfort that had not been there in her previous attempts at flight.

"Okay, now, I'm going to let you steer," James said, after their third loop. "Just remember that this is a Nimbus, you don't have to work so hard to move it like you had to on the school brooms first year. Got it?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Okay, it's all yours."

Lily found that the broom was indeed much easier to direct than the school brooms and every time she turned to hard, James gently and patiently corrected her course. After her fourth lap, Lily had the hang of moving the broom and the turns.

"Right then, I'll take over again," James said after awhile. "Maybe you'll see why I like flying so much now. Ready?"

Lily nodded and was startled to find herself grinning. "Ready."

The broom zipped off, slightly jolting her backward into James. They rushed toward the goal posts, everything about them a blur of color. James pulled the broom up higher and then curved over into a dive.

Lily laughed as her stomach fell away and they rushed toward the ground. She gripped her knees more tightly together. "Don't crash!" she cried over the rush of the wind.

"I'm not." He pulled out of the dive and they flew upward again, weaving toward the goal posts, around them, and then to the other end of the pitch.

Eventually James sped off toward the ground and brought the broom down carefully. He climbed off and Lily climbed off after him, her legs trembling from the flight and having been squeezed together so tightly.

She sat down, feeling oddly cold where James no longer sat behind her. She also noticed that her nose was numb and her teeth were chattering. She pulled out her wand and put a warming spell on her cloak.

"That was incredible," she sighed as James sat down beside her.

"That's kind of what it fells like for me every time I fly. It's cathartic at times and always thrilling. That's why I'm always so eager about Quidditch, why it means so much to me. I'm sorry if you sometimes feel as if I put Quidditch before my Head duties, but it's just that there's a kind of joy I find in flying that makes it seem as if I take it more seriously than my responsibilities as Head Boy."

Lily hesitantly laid a hand on his shoulder. "Look James, you shouldn't have to apologize. You have been as dedicated to your Head duties as you are to Quidditch—well, at least most of the time. I know I'm inflating your ego saying this, but I don't know how you do it, being Head Boy and Quidditch captain while still maintaining top marks."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about inflating my ego," quipped James. "I'm sure you'll find something to take it down a notch by tomorrow morning."

Lily chuckled as something fluttered in her chest again. There was that urge again, to just tell him how she felt. She didn't know how much longer she could hold it in. Was it worth holding in? By now she'd blown through all her excuses for not going out with James Potter. Maybe she ought to give it a try?

No, she decided. She was just high from the flying—that was all. If she said yes now, she'd probably regret it horribly tomorrow morning. The fluttering in her chest beat defiantly for a moment before she suppressed it once more. She looked at her watch.

"Oh my gosh, it's long past curfew!" she cried, leaping up. "How will it look if the Head Boy and Head Girl can't even make curfew!"

"Not very bad," surmised James, picking up his broom and standing up, "as everyone else ought to be in bed and won't see us come in. And in case we should run into anyone I have plan B."

"What would that be?" demanded Lily suspiciously.

"You'll find out if we need it," said James. "Come on, you don't want to be later than we already are."

They stopped through the changing rooms to pick up James's school bag before they hurried up to the castle. But rather than going up the front stairs, James moved into the shadows and mounted his broom.

"Get on," he whispered to Lily. "The front door is too obvious to open. We'll go in through the astronomy tower."

Lily nodded and climbed on in front of him. Once more they rose into the air, flying almost completely vertically up the castle wall before James brought them down on top of the astronomy tower.

He went to a door and quietly opened it. He listened for a moment before he motioned to Lily and they crept inside, pulling the door quietly shut behind them. They hurried down the stairs until they came out on the seventh floor.

They were hardly a few feet away from the Astronomy tower when a voice set their hearts racing and Lily gasped quietly. "Good evening, Mr. Potter and Miss Evans. Lovely evening for a stroll, isn't it?"

Lily and James turned to face the headmaster. "Professor Dumbledore," Lily stuttered. "I—we,"

Dumbledore smiled serenely. "It is wonderful to see you two moving quietly through the halls with one another. Usually your presence is quite pronounced." His comment sounded less like a rebuke and more like an observation with a touch of amusement.

Both Lily and James blushed. "You see Professor, we're out of bed because—," started James.

Professor Dumbledore's eyes twinkled behind his half moon glasses. "I'm afraid Mr. Potter that from all appearances neither of you quite made it to bed. Well, good evening then, enjoy your stroll, though I do suggest you return to your common room shortly, as someone with authority might find reason to punish you." With that the man walked off cheerfully, whistling to himself.

James and Lily stared after him, stunned. "What—what happened to plan B?" Lily hissed finally.

"Er—well plan B included us hearing someone approach," muttered James. "C'mon before we actually get into trouble."

"You've never worried about that before," said Lily as they started out.

"Okay, don't you start going crazy on me too."

"How am I going crazy?"

"'You've never worried about that before'? Lily, you're supposed to be dragging me back to the common room, yelling at me for getting us caught."

She shrugged. "Oh well, I had my plan B, in case yours fell through."

"Obviously it wasn't any better than mine since it didn't work either."

"Well, I never got to try it out."

James stopped. "What was it?"

Lily grinned. "Blame it all on you. You lured me down to the Quidditch pitch, tied me to a pole, and left me there. Then you felt sorry for me and came back to get me."

James rolled his eyes. "Like any teacher would believe that!"

"If it came between you and me, I'd have to say I'd believe me over you."

"Of course you would! You're you."

"Uh, no. I was talking about our records. Mine is a lot cleaner than yours."

"You wouldn't have done that though. I mean, you're Lily Evans!" Despite his protest, he appeared slightly nervous, as if weighing the chances that she might actually have blamed everything on him.

She laughed softly. "Don't be so sure James. C'mon before we get caught again." She jogged off toward Gryffindor Tower.

He quickly outstripped her. "I'm not going to get caught but you might, slow poke," he whispered as he sprinted past her.

Lily sped up, but her legs couldn't keep up with James's; he was incredibly fast. When she finally arrived at the portrait of the Fat Lady, Lily was breathing heavily and clutching at a stitch in her side. James was leaning against the wall, smirking at her. He wasn't even flushed from running.

"I see you didn't get caught," he whispered.

"Garden gnomes," Lily panted, glaring at him, and the Fat Lady swung open. She stumbled through and leaned against the first chair, trying to catch her breath.

"Really, you shouldn't have pushed yourself so hard; you knew you could never keep up," teased James as he climbed through after her. "It's nice to know there're still a few things I can do, which you can't."

"Okay, you don't have to rub it in," grumbled Lily. "Besides we weren't even racing; you were."

"Console yourself, however you like, I'm off to bed," replied James, yawning widely and strolling across the common room.

"You flew," Lily realized. "Cheater!"

James looked over his shoulder and grinned at her. "Remember Lily, we weren't even racing so technically I couldn't have cheated."

"Oh shut up and go to bed," she huffed. She headed off to the girls' stairs.

James chuckled. "G'night, sore loser."

Lily didn't reply.

"I said goodnight," he called after her.

She turned, lifting an eyebrow. "Oh were you talking to me?"

James grinned. "No one else was in the room."

"I am _not _a sore loser—you cheated."

"Sure, whatever floats your boat. Goodnight Lily."

"Goodnight, James."

Lily was startled to find everyone still awake when she reached her dormitory. Aura was reading through her ancient runes book on her bed while Carlotta, Marlene, and Freya, Lily's fifth roommate, were huddled on Marlene's bed .

"So what exactly has Lils been up to?" Marlene inquired with a wicked grin when she noticed Lily walk in.

Lily pressed her hands over her heart and closed her eyes, smiling widely as she inhaled. "He kissed me," she breathed.

"He what?" squealed Carlotta.

Lily opened her eyes and laughed. "Just kidding."

Aura studied her friend for a minute before she shook her head. "You're not going to be able to hold out much longer," she said before scratching her eyebrow and returning to her ancient runes book. She wanted to be a curse breaker or something along those lines after Hogwarts, but the N.E.W.T's for Arithmancy and Ancient Runes were incredibly demanding and she spent a great deal of time studying—even more than Lily.

Lily was startled by her friend's scarily astute observation. She tried to recall any hints she may have given to her true feelings for James, but couldn't think of any. Where had Aura drawn that conclusion from?

"Not everyone falls for James Potter's charm," Lily said lightly as she summoned her pajamas.

"Aura, she's not kidding about him kissing her," Marlene said. "Look at her hair. Nothing innocent happened when a girl's hair looks like that."

Lily went to her mirror. Indeed, her hair was tousled. She picked up her brush to smooth it out.

"So what happened?" pressed Carlotta.

"Oh I believe anything I tell you will be far less interesting than whatever you, Marlene and Freya concocted," Lily replied. "You're going to be disappointed when I tell you."

"I wouldn't mind hearing it anyway," Freya said quietly, leaning back against Marlene's pillows. "I mean, it's nice sometimes, just being able to get wrapped up in the small things in life."

The mood in the room became heavier as all the girls were once more reminded that life existed beyond Hogwarts. A life that was becoming filled with more turmoil, pain, and horror each month as the dark Lord Voldemort rapidly gathered power. Freya's mother, who had been a Hit-Witch in the Ministry, had been killed in the last term of the year before when the Ministry, under misinformation, had sent her after some supposed wizard criminals who turned out to be a group of Death Eaters. The squad of Hit Witches and Wizards she had been on had been blind-sided. While they took four Death Eaters down with them and exposed a few more, no one on the squad had survived.

Freya realized the weight she had drawn over the room and attempted to lighten the mood. "So-so if he didn't kiss you, what happened to your hair?"

"We were flying," Lily replied slowly. Her problems with James now seemed so trivial.

"Oh come on," Freya urged impatiently. "I didn't mean to say what I did. Look, you guys, we have to enjoy life while we've got it, right?"

"Sure," said Aura, nodding along. "C'mon Lily, tell us what happened."

So Lily explained what had happened from the moment she'd last seen Marlene to her entrance into the bedroom. By the end, the weight had dissipated as quickly as it had fallen.

"Well, I'd say there's definitely some sparks going off there," Marlene said at the finish. She was lying on her side, her bent arm supporting her head. "Sure, it's not as interesting as you and James having a heated make out session in the Gryffindor changing rooms, but it's a start."

"Marlene, you really need to get a boyfriend," Lily said with disgust.

"Lily's right," Carlotta said sharply. "You spend way too much of your time in our love lives."

Freya chuckled. "Carlotta you're just as interested in Lily's love life as Marlene is."

"There's so much drama in it, who wouldn't be? But there's a difference between wondering if your friend actually hates a guy or secretly likes him and wondering what they do when they're alone. I mean they're Head Boy and Girl. They probably talk about the most uninteresting stuff ever."

"On the other hand, they probably do have all the gossip," Freya pointed out.

"Which Lily never shares," Carlotta replied. "Or hints at if she knows any."

"If you all haven't noticed, it's much more enjoyable to deal with the dramas of someone else's love life than your own."

"Except that I don't have a love life," sighed Lily.

"You just choose not to," replied Marlene. "I'm sure James would fix that at the drop of a hat."

"Yeah, well, I don't really want to talk about it. He brings it up enough." Lily had put on her pajamas and was now climbing into bed. Marlene was right. The only thing keeping Lily from James was Lily herself. She'd dated before, but for some reason she'd never cared about her dates the way she cared about James. Maybe it was all just her imagination. Maybe she'd created some ideal relationship with James, some ideal James. Why did she care so much? Would it really hurt to say 'yes'? Wasn't saying yes and being disappointed by discovering the real James preferable to eluding him until he lost interest and then wondering what could have been?

Lily curled up under her covers, remembering his warmth at her back, his patience, and his encouragement.

"Are you okay, Lils?" Marlene asked.

"Yeah, I'm just tired." She saw Aura watching her discreetly and closed her eyes. Aura was right, she couldn't hold out much longer.

Shortly after Lily retired, goodnights were exchanged between the girls and the lights were dimmed. Lily drew her curtains and sat up, hugging her knees to her chest. She listened as one by one the other girls fell asleep. She knew Marlene was asleep when her friend's light snores filled the room. Carlotta slept when her bed fell silent after she stopped turning over to find a comfortable position. Then there was Freya who had acquired a habit of sobbing quietly in her sleep. Lily heard a bed creak slightly and a few seconds later her curtains were pulled apart and Aura climbed into her bed. Aura put a silencing charm over the bed.

"I knew you'd be up," she said quietly.

"How'd you know about how I felt about James?" Lily murmured.

"Simple observation."

"You seem to be the only one to pick up on it."

"That's because Marlene and Carlotta embellish it to the point that they make it seem implausible. Freya probably has an idea, but you know she won't say anything until she sees something to confirm her suspicions. You're also very good at pretending like he doesn't affect you."

"Not for much longer," Lily admitted ruefully. "But I've been resisting since our third year. I think I knew I liked him then but I didn't admit it to myself until fifth year."

Aura sat back, gazing at her friend's outline. "Lily, this might sound really strange, but I don't think you're dealing with a crush here. I don't think it's a thing where you'll wake up one day and realize all the stomach flip-flops and blushes are gone."

"So what is it then?"

Aura was silent for a while. "I think you need to find that out for yourself," she said finally. "Goodnight."

"Where are you going?"

"To bed, where else?"

"But—,"

"Lily I don't think I'm telling you anything new."

"Then why'd you come over?"

"To tell you to go to sleep because you already know what you're going to do. Now goodnight." She yawned widely. "I'm going to strangle Marlene the next time she wakes me up early." Aura climbed off the bed, waved her wand to take off the silencing charm and shuffled over to her own bed.

Lily lay back in the darkness. Over the years Aura had become more reserved and often seemed aloof from the concerns of her other friends. But for all her silence, she always knew exactly what her friends needed and when and how to be there for them.

Her thoughts turned to James and she smiled as she remembered his arms around her. For better or for worse, after four years, she was ready to take a risk on James Potter.

_I've never asked for reviews for my other stories, but I am going to here because I know everything's kind of rocky. I'd like to hear what people have to say and how I can improve. _


	5. Chapter 5: Only Human

_Okay an update. Tell me what you think please. It's been kind of hard getting this out while enjoying the Florida sun. Companion to **Flying**._

The page swum in Lily's sight as she tried to concentrate on her charms homework. She sniffed and wiped at her slightly dripping nose. A single tear broke free and wriggled down her cheek before it dripped onto the page. A small sob escaped her and Lily shoved away her book as she could no longer keep herself from crying. How could life be so unbearable? She was only a seventh year and yet everything seemed so overwhelming. Some days she woke up feeling as if she couldn't make it through another day. She just wanted to curl up and stay in bed. She wanted her mother to pat her back and murmur that everything was going to be fine. Lily shuddered; she was such a coward. She couldn't face the world and she wasn't even out of Hogwarts yet.

_Come on, Lily. Plenty of people have handled much worse before. What if James walked in right now?_ That thought sent the tears racing even faster from her because James was part of her problems right now. It had been just over a week since their late night flying lesson and she still hadn't worked up the courage to tell him that she liked him. Every time she saw him, her chest constricted with the struggle to keep her emotions in and she ended up gasping for air and losing her train of thought. At night, she lay in bed, running over all the ways she could tell him that she liked him but they either sounded too pathetic or else she lost her nerve every time she tried to put one into motion.

Lily folded her arms upon the table and buried her face in them. She took deep breaths to stop her crying but all that did was add more force to her sobs.

"Lily?"

The voice burst through her sobs and sent her heartbeat scattering. "I'm fine," she managed as she sat up, scrubbing her face with her sleeve. She was glad she had not worn any makeup that day.

She could feel James sit down beside her. Lily slightly turned her head away from him so he could not see her tear streaked face.

"I've got to go," she said quickly, reaching out blindly to grab her charms book. James's hand captured hers.

"I know you don't have anything to do between now and dinner, so I think no one but you will mind if I don't let you run off," he said gently.

Lily turned to glare at him. "Since I do mind, I hope you won't mind letting me go." She jerked her arm, but he held on. "Let me go, James," she snapped. She was dismayed to hear the desperation behind her anger. She had to get away from him before she started crying again. He let her go and Lily bolted for the door. She yanked at the doorknob but the door would not open. She closed her eyes. There was no point in trying to figure out how to open the door. She'd just push herself to tears trying to figure out what spell James had used to seal it shut.

"James, let me out," she breathed, trying to keep her voice even.

"You've been avoiding me all week. I left you to yourself, but I want to know what's wrong now. Are you afraid that I don't like you any more?" he asked softly.

Lily could see she was not going to get anywhere arguing with James or ignoring him and she just didn't feel like resisting anymore. She felt her shoulders slump in submission. "You're assuming that I like you in that statement."

"Why are you fighting it, Lily?" he demanded, unable to keep the frustration from his voice.

"You don't know that I like you," her voice quavered with anger. She still hadn't turned around to face him.

"Then honestly tell me how you feel about me," James challenged.

"I," Lily faltered and found that she could not lie to him, "I like you," she whispered.

Somehow, James heard. The room was silent for a few moments and then she nearly jumped as he gently placed his hands on her shoulders. She couldn't summon the energy to shrug away from him.

"This isn't some childish game to get you to go out with me anymore," he said carefully.

"How do I know that, James?"

"How many other guys would continue to ask a girl out after years of rejection? Especially when she doesn't particularly like letting him down easily? Please Lily, just give me a chance."

"James, please stop," she whispered as tears leaked from her eyes at the urgency in his voice. She had decided to give him a chance and she was going to follow through on that decision, but for some reason one small shred that held to her hesitation wouldn't snap. His hands fell from her shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Lily." How could he do this to her? How could the anguish in his voice shred any resistance she might have put up? How could he capture her breath from her and hold it? How was it that just the sight of him could send her thoughts scattering away?

She turned to face him. James's head was bowed and his hands were now stuffed in his pockets. Lily took a step closer to look up into his face. His eyes were closed and she could see that he struggled to hold in the frustration and hurt that radiated from his face. Hesitantly she placed her hands on his chest and slid them upward until they curved over his shoulders, and she was forced to rise onto her tiptoes to wrap her arms around him.

"James, I like you," she murmured. "Just, just don't," she didn't know what to say. How could she tell him that she might care for him a little bit more than a crush warranted? She wasn't ready for that commitment; she could barely admit that she liked him.

His arms slid around her and pulled her against him. He rested his cheek on the top of her head. "Just don't break your trust," he supplied for her. "I won't, I promise."

They stood quietly for a long while, Lily's head resting upon his shoulder.

"So, do you want to tell me why you were crying?" He finally broke the silence. "This wasn't exactly how I planned to convince you that you liked me."

"What did you have in mind?" Lily felt some of her morose mood lift at the mischievousness in his voice.

"Umm, paying a few Gryffindors to dress up as Slytherins and pretend to attack you so I could swoop in and save you."

"You know I can take care of myself, right James?"

"I figured that so I had plan B: I would have grabbed you in the corridor and kissed you until I proved that one can produce a confounding charm without a wand."

Lily pulled away to look up at him. He was gazing at her, struggling to contain the grin on his face. She felt a small smile wriggle on her lips. "You certainly have had plenty of practice."

"You deserve only the best," he replied easily.

She couldn't help a laugh. "That's a twisted way of explaining your dating cue."

"I stopped going out with other girls at the beginning of sixth year. I ran out of stupid lines to feed them." His grin faded and he became serious once more. "Really Lily, what's bothering you?"

"Just because I told you that I like you doesn't mean I'm going to sit down and have little heart to hearts with you," Lily retorted.

"You know Lily, you don't always have to pretend like you're in control," James said quietly. "No one faults you for being human."

Lily sighed, deciding to give in but ignore his observation. "It's complicated, James. Sometimes your friends go through difficult things, and you're always happy to be there for them. But, I don't know, it's just emotionally draining sometimes."

"And you don't want your friend to think that she's a burden?" he asked in understanding.

Startled at how well he seemed to comprehend her predicament, she nodded. "Exactly. And you want to help, but you know you can never understand exactly what they're going through, only, you're the best person they have."

"Do your other friends know about your friend's problem?"

"In varying degrees, yes."

"Well," James said carefully, "I think all of her friends should know exactly what you know. It's easier when everyone knows than when one person has to deal with so much. I think it may help your friend too. I'm sure you're always there to comfort her, but sometimes it's easier when everyone adds a little bit to keep the person up. Kind of like all of you are giving her something to lean on instead of one of you holding all the weight. She may have come to you, but you're not letting her down by urging her to tell all of her friends."

"Well aren't we a well of wisdom," Lily murmured. James blushed and there was a fluttering in her chest. Even in these few moments, she could see that he was determined not to blow his chance. Already she felt some of the load sift from her shoulders.

"Anything else I can help you with?"

Lily closed her eyes. Why was it so easy to talk to James? Maybe it was because she was no longer holding anything back. Or because they were now both in this risk together. The thought simultaneously thrilled and frightened her. After years of discord she was finally together with James Potter, fulfilling her third year revelation of her feelings for him. But never before had she felt so open to someone. Nor had she ever felt, in any of her previous romantic relationships, that it was possible for someone to have some kind of hold over her.

"Not now," she said finally. She took a breath and exhaled. "Just one thing at a time."

She felt James's hand rest on her shoulder, and then it slid down her arm to take her hand in his. Lily had only dated four boys, three at Hogwarts and one muggle, and each of her relationships had started with an awkward date, which eventually led into more comfortable dates, and then kissing. But with James it was different. There was no time spent getting to know him better; she already knew him so well. Now that she had admitted she liked him, it seemed as if they had progressed far beyond the point of a first kiss and were on their search for a deeper, more meaningful relationship.

She felt him squeeze her hand lightly. "That's fine. I'm always here for you." His voice was hushed, deeper, more mature.

Lily opened her eyes, unnerved by just how serious her thinking and his words were. She smiled up at him, hoping to lighten the air between them. "Marlene's going to be terribly mad at us."

James quirked an eyebrow. "Why's that?"

"We've taken all her fun away. She won't be able to egg either of us on in a fight or make embarrassing innuendos without having to wonder if they're actually true."

"How will your other friends feel about it?" asked James.

"Well, Carlotta won't be too put out. She's been following our relationship like it's a column in Witch's Weekly. For her this is just the latest bit of gossip. Freya will no doubt be surprised and Aura, well, she won't be too shocked. Sometimes I wonder if she knows me better than I know myself. How will your friends feel about it?"

James grinned as he ran his free hand through his hair. "Relieved, mostly. They won't have to put up with my endless scheming to win you over or the side-effects of your temper. Sirius'll probably ask if I gave you a spiked drink or something, Remus'll be supportive and warn me not to blow my chance, and Peter will be vindicated in his belief that there is nothing that I can't get."

"So I'm just a goal?" Lily asked mock-sternly.

"No, well maybe to them you are. You're the person whom I've obsessed over for the past few years, and now you've finally agreed to go out with me. But you've made me realize that some things shouldn't simply be seen as something to accomplish. Some things, or people, are too precious to be so materialized."

Lily felt her neck, ears, and cheeks warm at his last words. This was the opposite direction she'd wanted the conversation to go, though she did enjoy the eager tremor it set off in her stomach. James seemed to sense her wish for a subject change. He grinned hugely and ran a hand through his hair.

"How'd you enjoy the Quidditch match? Pretty impressive?" He waggled his eyebrows at her, making Lily roll her eyes.

"Mhm, impressive your broom didn't tip over with the weight of your ego."

"Haha, very funny, Lily." James looked slightly disgruntled at her teasing. "You take modesty far too seriously," he added.

"If I didn't I don't know where you'd be today."

"More than likely strutting around acting like the king of the world," he admitted ruefully. A gleam sparked in his eye. "By the way, my mum says thank you for providing the discipline she never could."

Lily strolled over to one of the sofas and sank down onto it, resting her arm on the back and propping her chin on her arm. "What's your mum like?" she wondered. She'd always contemplated what the parents of such an energetic, intelligent, mischievous child were like.

James joined her on the sofa, leaning back into the welcoming pillows. "I know House identity fades after Hogwarts, but in some ways she's obviously a Ravenclaw. She's very intelligent and clever and sometimes takes life a bit too seriously. She believes she's stern with me, but I'm her soft spot—she was older when she had me and there's no better chance of being spoiled than to be the only child and son of two older, wealthy people who thought they'd never have children. She likes you very much, from everything I've told her about you. Many times, after I'm forced into relating one of the Marauders' escapades, she asks, 'And what did Lily say to that?'"

Lily laughed. "And your father?"

"He's far more easy-going than my mother. He loves pranks and played them on me all the time when I was younger. Now he lives vicariously through Sirius and me. He really appreciated your pimple retaliation last year. He says that there's nothing like a girl who can take a prank to outwit the pranker."

"So you've told your parents a lot about me?"

James blushed at her observation. "Er—well, yes. What're your parents like?" he asked hastily.

"My mom's talkative, supportive, and loves cleanliness. She was ecstatic when I showed her all the cleaning charms I knew last summer. She always asked me to do the dishes just so she could watch them do themselves. She loves to dance. And she absolutely loves flowers, as you can tell from my name and my sister's."

"Petunia, right?"

Lily's eyes widened in surprise. "How'd you know?"

"I told you I've been obsessed."

"That's not obsession," protested Lily laughing, "that's stalking."

"Mmm, well at a certain point they become pretty similar. Anyway, what's it like having a sister?"

Lily pulled her legs up under her, her good mood slinking away slightly. "Well, it was wonderful as a kid; I looked up to Petunia, practically worshipped her. Everywhere she went, I went. Everything she did, I did. I'm sure it got on her nerves, but for a while she was tolerant. Then, well, then I was accepted to Hogwarts. I used to think she just didn't like losing her sister, but I think it's more than that now. My parents were proud of me being a witch and for the first time I had something she could never have and could do things she could never do. I guess she saw it as if she could never measure up. She became afraid of magic for some reason, even though I tried to convince her that it was harmless, at least anything I could do. But it was pointless; she didn't want to have anything to do with me. She separated herself from me and because my parents of course would not leave me out, she separated herself from them too. She believes the distance between them and herself is because of me, because they love me more, which is far from the truth. I suppose you were expecting a much different answer."

"Sort of. I mean, if I had a sister like you I'd be proud that she was my sister."

Lily smiled sadly. "Thanks, James, but the wizarding world is different for her—it's unknown. Magic is something we, as muggles, have been taught doesn't exist. Imagine having everything you've ever learned turned upside down."

"You shouldn't make excuses for her."

Lily straightened up, scowling at him. What right did he have to say that about her sister? Sure Petunia wasn't the nicest person to Lily, but she was still, in the end, her sister. "I'm not making excuses James. She's my sister. I love her, no matter what," she said fiercely, tears coming to her eyes at the passion behind her protest. She brushed them away impatiently. "What right do you have to judge her?"

James looked appalled that he had upset her so much. He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry Lily, you're right, you're right. It wasn't my place to say anything."

Lily sniffed and wiped at her tears. "It's just I want her to like me, you know? She's my only sister, my only sibling. Why am I telling you all this anyway?" she wondered aloud as she scrubbed at her tears.

James reached out to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, gently and silently giving her his shoulder. She did not take it, but he didn't seem to mind; he appeared content just to have his arm around her. "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, Lily."

"You probably think I'm a crybaby or something," she said thickly through her clogged nose.

James took out his wand and conjured up a handkerchief for her. He offered it to her and watched as she wiped at her tears and blew her nose. "You've never cared about that before. Whenever you got passionate during our arguments, you cried. I have a distinct memory of you standing amid a puddle of ink, crying as you told me that I'd rewrite _Hogwarts: A History_ just to include myself in it."

Lily laughed wetly as she recalled the incident. "You and Sirius would, and you'd coerce Remus into doing the revisions."

"Give us some credit; we write pretty well."

"Oh, I forgot, you had quite a bit of practice with all the Valentines you had to send out."

James sighed, throwing his head back against the sofa. "Okay, so I couldn't settle down. But you don't have to remind me every few seconds. Besides we're in school. Who's thinking of getting married?"

Lily smirked. "Every girl whose heart you broke."

"I think I was mostly just another accessory for them," he said grumpily.

She chuckled and tentatively reached out to touch his arm. "I'm glad we're friends," she said shyly as her gaze settled on his.

"So is that all we are?" His eyes waited for her response.

Lily sat back. Were they really just friends? Just tonight she had felt so much stirring between them. They could take this further, couldn't they? James knew where he wanted to go; he was just waiting for her to catch up. They were so different. James was ready to leap into life, to take things as they came. She liked to examine all the options, to proceed carefully. He was the spontaneity she longed for but could never quite get. He was waiting for an answer. What should she say? It wouldn't be yes, but 'no' was not sufficient enough. How would she explain what she felt? _How conventional_, a distant part of her mind observed. _Do you always have to use words? Do you always have to know where you're going before you step?_

Lily floundered in confusion. _I'd like to, _replied her usual self. _Remember, look before you leap._

_You're not going to land on anything hard this time,_ the other voice replied.

_Well what am I supposed to do then?_

There was no reply and Lily blinked as James's expectant face came back into focus. He was waiting for her to speak she realized.

She leaned forward, opening her mouth to say something, and then she decided against it and she leaned farther, pressing her lips to his in response. Her eyelids fell shut as everything seemed to sink from under her. This was what it was like to let go of inhibitions, to not contemplate every action.

Exhilaration rushed over her, and she felt as if something honed in and burst through her usually careful self. She felt her fingers brush James's jaw before they slowly slid up into the mess of his hair. She was surprised how soft it was and how it willingly curled and twisted around her fingers.

The kiss swirled up and around her brief distraction and she let all else go.

When they finally broke apart, James let out a slow breath as their heartbeats raced against one another. "Um, I guess that means no?"

Lily pushed herself up slightly, surprised to find herself lying on top of him. "Er—yes. But, I'm not really rushing anywhere." A blush delicately tinted her cheeks.

James smiled, lifting a loose piece of her hair and draping it back, letting his fingers run through her red locks. "It's nice to slow down sometimes."

Lily crawled off of him and sat back in the crook of the sofa's arm. James's glasses were slightly askew as he watched her, a content expression on his face. He reached out and took her hand in his, tracing round patterns over her palm with his thumb.

"How about dinner?" he asked.

"Dinner?" Was it really still almost dinner time?

"Yeah, unless there's more you want to talk about. Or more snogging is always a welcome option." He grinned at her.

"I feel much better now, not so overwhelmed," Lily admitted.

He sat up and kissed her gently on the cheek. "Come on, I'm famished." He stood and waited for her to get up. His fingers laced through hers as they left the room.

"So food obviously outweighs snogging," Lily teased as they headed toward the dining hall.

"Now that you put it that way," James looked at her, raising his eyebrows suggestively. "I know quite a few good places we could go."

"You can show me another time; I'm sure you'll find plenty of opportunities."

"Don't deny that you won't provide a few yourself."

Lily wondered if she would. It would be fun. But she'd try to surprise James, as hard as it was to do so. She simply smiled vaguely.

They arrived at dinner slightly late because James couldn't resist taking advantage of one of those opportunities. Though they parted hands upon entering the dining hall, they couldn't keep their faces from beaming, and it was quite obvious they were trying their best not to look at one another. Each time they happened to meet one another's gaze, their lips wrinkled in restrained smiles. After several minutes of this behavior, Sirius looked between the two of them.

"Bloody hell Prongs, what did you give her?" he demanded loudly.

Lily couldn't help but laugh at James's accuracy.

Marlene frowned, setting down her fork of shepherd's pie as she narrowed her eyes at the couple. "I swear, Potter, if you've drugged her, I will personally hex you until even St. Mungo's doesn't know what to do with you."

"No, I'm fine," insisted Lily.

"They've been snogging," Carlotta said, her voice rising in shock.

"What?" cried Marlene, Peter, and Sirius in unison. Marlene choked on the food she had just put in her mouth, Peter was staring at Carlotta as if she had lost her mind, and Sirius had jumped to his feet.

Lily's face burned, and she buried it in her hands. This was not how she had planned to tell her friends that she was going out with James Potter. Marlene coughed and someone thumped her back.

"Did you see how swollen her lips were?" demanded Carlotta.

"Carlotta, please shut up," Lily said softly, mortified.

"I thought you were going to study in the Head's room," Peter said in confusion.

"Oh he was studying something. It just wasn't his books." Lily could hear the grin in Sirius's voice.

"Shut up, Sirius," James ordered as he gently tugged at Lily's hands to bring them away from her face. She shook her head against his efforts.

"It was coming from a mile of way," Aura said to placate her friends.

"How do you know that?" demanded Marlene, having finally cleared her throat. "One day they're just getting along and the next their holding snogging sessions in the Head's room? Yeah, that was coming from a mile away."

James finally gave up trying to pull Lily's hands away. "Are you ashamed of us?" he whispered in her ear, so that only she could hear.

"No," she sighed as she gave in and lowered her hands.

"Oh, and look, now they're having hushed little conversations," Sirius exclaimed. He was back in his seat. "What's next?"

"Do not finish that thought," ordered Remus, finally joining the conversation. "I don't need any more of your perverted ideas in my head."

Lily glanced at Remus gratefully, and he gave her a shy, yet reassuring smile.

"I guess we shouldn't be too shocked," Freya joined in, softly as always. "They've been kind of quiet with one another all year."

"But," protested Marlene, looking slightly lost. Aura was right; she had made the possibility of Lily liking James such an impossibility that she was having a hard time wrapping her mind around the actuality. "Lily, you're joking right?"

Lily shook her head. "No, Marlene." She didn't think this was the right time to tell her friend that she'd liked James Potter for a while.

Marlene exhaled heavily through her nose and sat back. "This is just weird," she pronounced finally. "I mean now, ugghh, all those insinuations _could_ be true now." Her face twisted in disgust.

Sirius's eyes widened. "Ohhh, you're right. Ohhh, Merlin! I'm scarred!" he cried, throwing his hands over his eyes and moaning.

"You only did it to yourselves," Peter pointed out.

Marlene and Sirius both threw him unappreciative glares, and he shrank slightly.

"He's right," Lily said, coming to his defense. Her face had lost its embarrassed heat, and her bright green eyes now watched her friend with great amusement. "Serves you right, Marlene."

"You yelling at him at the top of your lungs in the middle of the corridor hardly seems like affection," the girl retorted.

"Oh, well, things change." Lily grinned wickedly. "Mmm," she said thoughtfully, "your advice about the changing rooms might come in handy now." She glanced over James appraisingly, her gaze lingering on his lips.

"Okay just stop it," Marlene begged.

"I don't know," James said, catching on to Lily's game, "Sirius has showed me a few places that lend themselves well to—,"

"I am eating, Prongs," Sirius said loudly to drown his friend out as he jammed his fork into his pork chop for emphasis.

Lily and James laughed.

"As funny as payback may be," Carlotta interrupted their amusement, "I am hungry, and I don't even want to think about what those two have been suggesting."

"I second that," agreed Remus.

"Peter, please pass the pepper," said Aura. She put a small helping over her shepherd's pie. "I think we've made this as awkward for Lily and James as possible, so if everyone doesn't mind, I'd like to move on."

Lily gave her Aura an appreciative smile, before she looked at Freya. "What was that Potions question you had earlier?"

She was relieved as the conversation shifted away from her and James as she, James, Freya, and Sirius attempted to work through the potions ingredients for a complicated antidote.

Despite the way in which the fact that she and James were going out had been revealed to her friends, Lily was glad the revelations were over. Carlotta had begged her for details while Marlene drilled her for every aspect of her feelings for James since first year. Freya and Aura were happy to leave her in peace.

Lily fell into bed that night, feeling almost too light to stay in her bed. So this was what it was like being with James Potter: this lightness, the gentle throbbing in her chest as she thought of him. She curled under the blankets and wrapped them around her, trying to imitate the feel of his arms around her. It just wasn't the same. Before tonight she would have felt horrible remembering her breakdown earlier that evening, but somehow, it seemed so distant now with James standing between her and it.

For the first time, Lily Evans drifted off to sleep without wondering if she was somehow letting someone down with her tears. Somehow it just seemed so much truer when James told her that she was only human.


	6. Chapter 6:Walking Procedures

**Oops, sorry, forgot to say that this takes place 5th year. It's a bit of an extension off of one of the scenes in DH during Snape's memories.**

**Also, based on canon, Freya has been changed to Mary. **

"Okay, what do we do now?"

Lily slammed her knife into the hinkley root. "I don't know. Read the procedure, Potter," she snapped. She couldn't believe she'd gotten stuck with him! Why did she have to be late, why did Potter have to be late, and why did Lupin have to be absent? The one time she was late!

"If you don't know what we're doing now, how come you're cutting that?" he asked smugly.

She yanked up her chopping board and dumped the diced roots into the simmering potion. It wasn't even worth answering him. She couldn't help but glance over at Severus. James Potter was so close to driving her crazy that she was almost willing to swallow her pride and apologize to Severus for their argument earlier. Maybe she shouldn't have been so judgmental toward Mulciber and Avery. Her friend was pointedly ignoring her, pretending to be absorbed in brewing his potion. But the slight back and forth shifting of his head, and her knowledge that Sev could probably concoct this potion in his sleep, told her he was watching her.

"Should I add this now?" James held up a vial of iguana urine.

"Potter, I am not a walking procedure! If you want to know what to do next, read!" _James Potter fancies you_. Severus's words kept springing around in her brain, making her temper even shorter. _Well he certainly doesn't act like it_, she thought.

He glanced down at the book. "Where are we?"

She growled in frustration and grabbed the vial to snatch it from him. But he gripped the top as he grinned at her. "Go out with me?"

She glared at him and tugged, but he didn't let go. Fine, she'd just move on, or pretend to until he gave up the vial. They let go at the same time. Lily gasped and grabbed for the vial as it plunged to the floor. She missed and it shattered. As she jerked her head up to glare at James, her head collided with something, hard.

Potter yowled and jerked back, his hand flying to his nose, his eyes scrunching as if he were about to cry. He knocked the desk onto the cauldron.

"Potter!" she shrieked as their cauldron wobbled precariously. Not thinking, she reached out and steadied it. Her shriek turned to a cry of pain as the cauldron blazed under her hand. She yanked her hand to her chest, her eyes tearing as she glared at Potter who glared back as blood poured from his nose, over his lips, and down his chin.

"Miss Evans, is everything alright?" blustered Professor Slughorn as he hurried over to their station.

Lily pulled her throbbing hand from her chest. Her right palm and fingers were bright red and already beginning to blister. "I should be okay," she said tightly, squeezing her eyes shut against the tears.

"No, no, go on ahead and see Poppy," protested her teacher.

"But Professor, my potion—,"

Slughorn glanced briefly at the potion. It was almost done. Only two ingredients left. "Full marks," he said without hesitation. "Now go ahead and get your hand fixed up. You better go too, Mr. Potter."

"No, it's okay, I'll—."

Slughorn wagged his head. "No, no, if you get blood in the potion, you'll ruin it."

Lily grabbed up her quill and book in her left hand and thrust them into her bag before she stormed from the room, her temples thudding as she swore never to be late to a class again. She was NEVER going to work with Potter again, even if it meant she had to take a below Acceptable mark.

She was barely five steps from the potions classroom, when Potter was beside her. "I'm sorry, Evans," he said.

Lily blinked. He almost sounded sincere. But that was impossible. She strode on, ignoring him, ignoring the frantic fluttering her chest. She did not like James Potter. He had saved Sev, but was Sev right? Was he just doing it to save his own neck and those of his friends? But as much as Potter bullied Severus, Lily had an odd feeling that Potter had been concerned for her friend's safety. No, no, she protested, no he was just trying to save himself and his friends. I do _not_ like, and I will never like, James Potter. I do not like James Potter. I hate the way he smirks like he knows exactly what you're thinking, I hate that obnoxious way he makes his hair messier than it is, I hate how he got better marks on his Transfiguration essay without even studying.

"Is your hand okay?" he tried again.

"What do you think?" she spat. "I burned it!"

"Hey, you nearly broke my nose!" he retorted defensively, blood flicking from his lips as he spoke. Her face wrinkled in disgust as she brushed a droplet from her hand. He at least had enough decency to blush.

"Because you were playing around! When are you going to grow up and stop acting like everything's a game, Potter?"

"Can I just say sorry?" he demanded. "What is it with you? You're always so critical!"

"NO I'M NOT! I'M JUST TIRED OF YOUR SORRIES! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" She stomped off. She realized that her cheeks were wet. It's just my hand hurting, she told herself.

It wasn't until Madam Pomfrey was gently swabbing anti-blistering potion over Lily's hand that Lily realized James Potter had never apologized directly to her. It had always been, "sorry you were in the way" or "sorry you were too dumb to mind your own business" or "it's not my fault." Never just a plain, I'm sorry. That's why it had sounded so sincere. And he'd never asked about the damages he'd caused. James Potter is a git, she thought, but it sounded more like a reminder, a habit, than a conviction.

When she emerged from the hospital wing, Severus was waiting for her.

"Hey Sev."

"Hello Lily. Is your hand going to be okay?" he asked, nodding at her bandage.

"Yeah, if I stay away from Potter." She immediately regretted the last part of her comment as a triumph flickered over Severus's face before it settled back into the relaxed expression he wore around her. What was that about?

His lips twitched for a moment in indecision and then he said slowly, "I'm sorry about earlier."

"Yeah, me too. I'm not trying to tell you what to do or anything, but just be careful, okay?" she said, pleadingly. "I don't want you to get into any trouble Sev."

His lips quirked in what would have been a smile on someone else. "I'll be careful, Lily."

"You want to go get some homework done in the library before dinner?" she asked.

"Sure."

When Lily sat down to dinner, Marlene and Aura were already there.

"How's your hand?" asked Aura.

Lily grinned. "Fine. I didn't burn it that badly."

"That's okay, I'll still pummel Potter in practice tonight anyway," Marlene said cheerfully. "I think Mark'll let me borrow his beater's bat."

Carlotta and Mary joined them. As dinner began, Lily felt there was something odd, like something was missing.

"Is it just me, or is it too quiet?" asked Mary.

"It's too quiet," replied Carlotta.

"Yeah, it's the Marauders," added Marlene.

"Huh?" asked Lily.

Marlene jerked her head to the right and they all turned to look. Remus Lupin sat by himself, looking incredibly pale. Beneath his sandy hair, his forehead was creased as if he were scowling at his food. A few seats up from him sat Potter. He kept looking back and forth between Lupin and Black, who sat a few seats up from Potter. Pettigrew was nowhere to be seen.

"That's weird. Have they ever not sat together?" mused Aura, resting her chin in her palm and tapping her fingers against her upper lip as if prepared to wrack her brain to remember if there ever was a time.

"No, I don't think so," said Carlotta, who probably didn't really have to think about it all that much. She'd had a crush on Sirius Black since second year and somehow always managed to notice where he was sitting.

"Something must've happened," mused Mary.

"I think something did," whispered Marlene, drawing all of their attention back to her as they huddled closer to hear. "James was pretty agitated at practice last night. He completely missed the ball twice and he got hit by a bludger he should've seen."

Lily swallowed uneasily. She wondered if this had anything to do with what Severus had mentioned about the other night. She wanted to tell her friends, but she didn't know the whole story and there was no point in spreading rumors. Besides, Severus had told her he wasn't supposed to talk about it.

She thought back to potions. Now that she thought about it, Black should've saved a seat for Potter; they always saved seats for one another. That was why she'd never had to partner with Potter in potions before. Something was wrong. What _had_ happened the other night?

Severus seemed like he wanted to tell her something. He kept insisting that Lupin was a werewolf. And now it seemed like he was sure of his convictions. Like he was no longer trying to convince her of a theory but a fact.


	7. Chapter 7:Blueberries

**This came in a quick burst of inspiration.**

Lily watched in amusement as her husband suddenly became busy cleaning the counter—with a sponge no less.

"Scurgify," she said, lazily sweeping her wand and watching as the counters cleaned themselves.

"No, it's okay Lily, I can clean by hand," insisted James, not looking at her as he continued to scrub.

"Since when have you taken up using muggle means of cleaning?" she demanded, raising an eyebrow.

James swallowed as he turned to give her a lopsided grin. "Professor McGonagall always said it builds character."

Lily shook her head. "You have enough character as it is."

James's eyes shifted desperately around the kitchen. "C'mon Lily," he pleaded. "Just this once can you do it for me? Please?"

"Your 'just this once' happened two days ago when you suddenly remembered you had something to do at work. And you had another 'just this once' when you took an interest in gardening last week. And another 'just this once' when your hands somehow got tied up in the shower curtain yesterday."

"I swear Padfoot put a jinx on it the last time he was here," James cried.

"Must have been a James-only jinx because it certainly didn't entangle me," smirked Lily.

Her husband ran a hand through his hair, for all his height, looking like a first year cornered by a teacher. His lips turned down and he gave her the most ridiculous puppy eyes he'd ever used. She almost took pity on him. Almost, but not quite. "Please Lily," he begged.

"All this time you've spent trying to avoid it, you could've gotten it over with."

"Please," he tried again. She wondered if he was going to fall to his knees in the next second and beg at her feet.

She rolled her eyes. "James, you got yourself into this. I told you it wasn't going to be all fun and games."

"And I said I believed you!"

Lily's shoulders shook as she laughed. "And I'm glad you did. Now, come on. It'll be over before you know it."

James dragged his feet as he crossed the kitchen as if she had sentenced him to detention during quidditch practice. He cast her one last pleading look as he passed her on his way out.

She shook her head firmly. "Not this time."

His shoulders slumped as he trudged through the living room and up the stairs, followed closely by Lily. She followed him down the hallway until they came to a door.

"Please, Lils," he said quietly.

"Uh-uh."

He leaned his head against the door and took a breath. He'd accused her of being a drama queen but no one could put on a show like James Potter when it came time to changing his son's nappy.

Lily reached around him and opened the door.

Harry lay in his cot, burbling as he played with a miniature quaffle James had insisted they get him.

At the sound of their entrance he looked up and let out an excited cry.

"Hey mate," sighed James.

Harry laughed and abandoned his quaffle as he reached toward his father and made a grabbing motion with his tiny hand.

James strode to Harry's cot and lifted him out. He lifted Harry above his head, holding the baby just beyond the reach of his glasses. "Mummy's making me change your diaper, so co-operate little guy."

Harry laughed and James seemed to take this as agreement. He put Harry on the changing table. Lily moved in behind him and handed him a clean nappy.

James unzipped Harry's blue and white striped pajama and made a horrible gagging noise. "Bloody hell!" he managed.

"James!"

Her husband jerked around to glare at her. "Did you put a dung bomb in his diaper as a joke?"

"No," replied Lily tersely, trying to hold her breath against the smell coming from Harry's nappy. The baby stared up at his parents, his green eyes, so like Lily's, shifting between them.

"I am not opening that!"

Lily honestly couldn't blame him. "Just get it over with," she ordered.

He snatched the clean nappy from her and tucked it beneath his arm. They both took a deep breath and stopped breathing as James undid Harry's nappy.

Lily waved her wand the moment she could, and they expelled a loud sigh of relief. Harry laughed and waved his arms.

James cleaned Harry and put on the new nappy.

"What did you feed him?" James demanded when Harry's pajamas were on once again.

"Nothing out of the ordinary. I—," suddenly she recalled wondering what had happened to the blueberries she had bought for a pie.

"James, you didn't give Harry any of my blueberries while I was out, did you?" she asked doubtfully.

James grinned sheepishly. "We may've had a few. Harry seemed to like them."

"I told you not to give him any blueberries! That's why it smelled so bad!"

"Blueberries did that to him! Blo—," Lily glared at him and he hastily amended, "blimey! Hey, it's not like he understands me!" He picked up Harry. "I won't ever do that to myself again, mate. I promise you that."

Harry burbled and ran his fingers over his pajamas. With his downcast eyes and frown of concentration, it almost seemed as if he were apologetic.

Lily patted James's arm. "You did well," she told him.

James grinned at her and shifted Harry to his left arm so he could drape the other over Lily's shoulders. "I thought so too," he said brightly, without a trace of his earlier reluctance. "You know, I think I deserve a kiss for that."

She rolled her eyes at him.

**Yes, it's true, blueberries do that to babies. I know from personal experience. **


	8. Chapter 8:Mandrakes

**Takes place the first day of second year.**

Lily and Aura hunched forward as they dashed through the rain to the second year greenhouse, gasping several times when they misjudged the size of a puddle. By the time they scrambled in behind a group of Hufflepuffs, the hems of their robes were drenched in rain and clinging wetly to their legs.

"If we didn't have to sit through class, it would have been nice to walk in the rain," commented Aura as she and Lily took a place at the table.

"My sister and I used to do that," Lily sighed, pushing her damp bangs from her forehead. "Now she says it's just stupid."

"What's stupid?"

Lily's head jerked toward the voice. James Potter was standing at the place next to her, looking as if someone had dragged him through the mud to class. Clumps of the mud clung to his impossibly messy hair and she wondered how he could even see through the smudges on his glasses. He was giving her that obnoxious grin he had that for some reason bubbled beneath her temper and forced it to the surface no matter how hard she tried to push it back.

"Nothing," she said coolly. "I wasn't talking to you." She turned back to Aura as if Potter had never stuck his obnoxious, long nose into her discussion with Aura and grinned eagerly. "We can walk back and change after we eat lunch."

"Will we have time?" Aura asked, leaning toward Lily in her excitement.

Lily nodded vigorously, already imagining the cool curtain of water running over her face and the contrast of her body's warmth against her damp clothes. "Of course, if we eat quickly enough."

Though Aura was still smiling, her eyes flicked behind Lily and her smile became strained as her lips trembled against the laugh threatening to erupt from her. Lily whipped around to see James suddenly go still.

"What were you doing?" she demanded.

James smirked. "Nothing."

Lily's chin jutted forward as her eyes narrowed at him. "What were you doing to make Aura laugh?"

"Nothing, maybe she was just wondering what you would like if you nodded so hard your head fell off," he returned.

Lily drew in a breath as she tried to think of something to say, but Professor Sprout's cheerful greeting cut her off, and she simply rolled her eyes at James before she turned to give her attention to the professor. The Herbology professor was lugging a huge box clasped between her two pudgy arms. Her hat sat slightly askew and her graying hair dripped with rain.

"Everyone grab a pair of earmuffs," called Professor Sprout as she set the box down on the bench and took a pair for herself. Lily waited patiently for her classmates to take a pair, but as the earmuffs disappeared, she realized that there was a pair very fluffy pink ones that everyone seemed to be avoiding. Grinning wickedly, she allowed nearly all of her classmates to crowd around her, while she carefully blocked Potter from getting to the box under the pretense of moving aside for the others.

"Evans, would you move?" he snapped.

"Stop pushing me, then!" There were only two pair left. On either side of her, the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs still stood around, trying on their new headgear. Lily grabbed the last two pair.

"Just one, Miss Evans," Professor Sprout chuckled.

"Oh, I was going to get one for Mr. Potter," she replied sweetly.

"That's very nice of you."

Lily's smile faltered barely a millimeter. She felt only slightly guilty at her professor's praise. She turned and grinned at a scowling Potter. She held out the pink fluffy pair to him. "Here you go, Potter."

His eyebrows shot up over the rim of his glasses in surprise. "Oh, thanks, Evans." Lily nodded and went back to stand beside Aura. She hadn't expected him to take them so easily.

Potter followed her to his place and put on his earmuffs. "How do I look?" he asked Sirius, who stood across from him. Sirius looked up and laughed loudly.

"Clean off your glasses James!"

Lily turned toward Aura to hide her smile. Potter muttered some spell and then he cried out. "Hey, Evans you gave me your pair!"

"No, I didn't," she pushed between her teeth as she tried to hold in her laughter. Aura wasn't helping; she was biting her lip and looking at everything but Lily. Marlene McKinnon, who stood across from them, pressed her hand firmly to her mouth.

"Yeah, you gave me the pink ones," Potter insisted.

"No, those are for you," Lily said, shaking her head without even looking at the earmuffs. "Pink clashes with my hair."

"Alright class," began the professor, pushing up her sleeves, "today we have mandrakes. Can anyone tell me what those are?" Before anyone could raise his or her hand, James Potter called out.

"Uh, yeah," he said, "Professor may I have another pair of earmuffs?"

The stout witch frowned slightly at being interrupted. "There aren't anymore, Mr. Potter. Could you tell us what a mandrake is, though, please?"

"But Professor, mine are pink," he wined. Several giggles rose up as he waved them over his head. Lily bit her lip, hoping no one would offer a swap and Professor Sprout wouldn't force one. Apparently though, the rest of her classmates were just as eager to see James Potter in pink earmuffs as she was.

"I think they suit you," Sirius joked. Both Professor Sprout and Potter shot him an unappreciative glance, or in Potter's case, glare.

"There aren't any others," the professor said impatiently. "Now, a mandrake?"

"It's an ugly plant baby. Its screams can kill people and it's used to change back people who've been transfigured or cursed," he grumbled.

Professor Sprout smiled tersely. "Yes, five points to Gryffindor."

As she continued, Lily felt a jab in her side. She ignored it at first, but it continued. "Stop it, Potter," she hissed.

"Come on, just switch with me," he whispered.

"After you gave me that exploding toast this morning? I don't think so."

"Okay, just forget about that for now. I need your earmuffs."

He kept whispering to her but she studiously ignored him as she concentrated on what Professor Sprout was telling them to do.

"Okay, put on your earmuffs," instructed Professor Spout. The class pulled on their earmuffs and several people shook with silenced laughter as James Potter was forced to don his fluffy pink ones. They stuck out far from his head like clumps of cotton candy and shoved the hair around his ears out at odd angles. He scowled and jerked his wand at the offenders, and they were quickly stilled.

Potter kept poking her in the side, his lips moving silently as he pled with her to trade earmuffs, but as annoying as he was being, or maybe because of just how obnoxious he was being, she was going to make him wear the fluffy pink earmuffs. She kept jerking her elbow to the side to knock his finger away, but it returned to her side every time.

Suddenly the poking stopped and there was a rush of chill on her ears as the silencing clasp of her earmuffs was jerked away. A loud, piercing, banshee-like wail filled her ears and everything went black.

Lily's eyes blinked open and she felt as if she'd just awoken from a long deep sleep. She yawned widely and sat up. She was wearing her school robes? Her eyes flew around the room: rows of beds, the hospital wing?

Why was James Potter's name beating at her head? And why did she have the distinct feeling that she wasn't far from killing him?

"Are you okay?"

Lily turned in surprise. Severus was sitting in a chair beside her bed. Suddenly she remembered what had happened during Herbology.

"NO! I am going to kill James Potter!" Her hands flew to her head, her palms pressed over her closed eyes. "I missed my entire first day of classes," she wailed, before she flung her hands away to look at Severus in distress.

Her friend smiled and she was about to call him out on his amusement when he held out a stack to her. "I took notes for you in all of our classes."

Severus's neat handwriting spanned across each parchment in a detailed account of each class. Had he taken them verbatim? She smiled at him in relief. "Thank you so much, Sev." She rifled through the notes. "How long did it take you to copy all of these for me?"

He shrugged but seemed pleased that she was so grateful. "Not long."

Becoming aware of the disappearing sunlight through the window, Lily glanced at her wrist and remembered she hadn't worn her watch that day. "What time is?" she asked.

"Dinner."

She climbed from the bed. "Let's go then, I just realized I'm hungry."

Madame Pomfrey bustled out of her office. "Oh, I see you woke up Miss Evans. Well hurry down to dinner; I believe it's just started."

Lily thanked the nurse before she and Severus trooped down to dinner.

"Potter has detention for a week," her friend supplied.

"Good," said Lily grimly, "serves him right. The stupid git."

Severus nodded enthusiastically. "What happened anyway?"

Lily grinned sheepishly. "Well I guess some of it _was_ my fault. I made sure Potter got a pair of fluffy pink earmuffs. He wanted to trade and of course, I wouldn't. I don't know what he was thinking though when he took off my earmuffs."

"That is if Potter can think," corrected Severus.

"True," she mused. "He's brilliant in class sometimes, but the rest of the time I wonder if his head would echo if I hit it." But she wouldn't say anymore against Potter or else she knew she'd explode the next time she saw him.

She very nearly did so when she passed him in the Great Hall. "Good evening, sleepyhead," he called.

Sirius pretended to collapse in his seat and he and James cackled hysterically like a pair of ridiculous hyenas. Remus pretended to share in their amusement, but sent Lily an apologetic smile.

She pursed her lips. "Enjoy watching the Quidditch team from detention," she flung at him.

"Ooo, that was low," crowed Sirius as James immediately shut up. "What're you going to say to that, James? You can't take that laying down, mate!"

Potter snorted. "I'm not. Just learn to sleep with your eyes open, Evans." His hazel eyes flashed behind his glasses.

"Please, your little threats are cute, they really are, but there's the little problem of you not being able to get up the girls' steps."

He opened his mouth to retort, but dropped his lip and scowled.

Lily lifted an eyebrow and smirked at him before she tossed her hair over her shoulder and went off to join her friends. It was going to be a long time before she let him forget about his cotton candy ears.


	9. Chapter 9: 2 am

I found a list of 64 themes for Lily and James stories. I'm trying out a few; here's my first.

Audrie Melone

Takes place 5th year...

"Carlotta, is it just me or is Gryffindor down 100 points?" Lily demanded, her eyes narrowing as she moved toward the columns of House Points. She could have sworn Gryffindor was in the lead when she had glanced at it the night before, but it had been a quick glance.

Her friend sighed. "We're down 100 points."

Lily stopped. She didn't even need to know who! The question was how they had snuck out when she'd been up most of the night finishing a Transfiguration essay. "I am going to throttle him—them! Those self-centered, unruly b—,"

"Bad day Lily?"

Her head whipped around to see Sev standing beside her. "Gyffindor's lost 100 points!" she cried, jabbing her finger in the direction of the columns. "In one night!"

"Well, that's too bad," he told her. His voice was the only sympathetic part of his expression, though, for he could barely conceal a smug grin. She was slightly annoyed by his gloating but she could hardly blame him for supporting his House.

"Like you care," snapped Carlotta. She had come up beside Lily and she stood facing Severus, her arms crossed tightly over her chest and her chin jutting forward.

Severus glared at her darkly. "I was trying to be polite," he gritted.

"Try again, because you got a 'T' for Troll on your first attempt."

Lily sighed, her anger over the lost points momentarily forgotten in the face of her friends' standoff. "Carlotta why don't you go ahead? I'll catch up to you."

Carlotta glared at Severus as if she meant for her dislike to linger after she left. "If you don't come to dinner, I'll know who to search for," she told Lily, turning on her heel and marching away.

"Why are you friends with her?" demanded Severus when Carlotta had been swallowed up into the crowd heading to the Great Hall.

Lily smiled wryly and shrugged. "She asks me the same thing about you."

"I at least attempted to be polite."

She sighed. "I know, Sev." Lily smiled at him and placed a hand on his arm. "Thanks for trying. I really appreciate it." His pallid cheeks coloured slightly and he glanced down at her hand. Hastily, Lily drew it back. Her own cheeks warmed; she knew Severus didn't like to be touched. "Er, well, anyway, I'm going to find out how Potter and his little gang got past me last night."

Severus's feet shuffled beside her own precise footsteps as they headed for the Great Hall. "Maybe a disillusionment charm," he suggested.

"Maybe, but that seems a little too advanced. Then again, as much as I hate to admit it, they are too bloody smart for their own good."

"What's this I hear? I didn't think the great Lily Evans would ever call me smart!"

Lily jumped and choked as an arm was slung across her shoulders. "Potter," she coughed, trying to move from under his arm. His hand simply tightened over her shoulder. Her cheeks flamed; why did it feel so comfortable in the crook of his arm? And how did he hold her so firmly without hurting her?

"Get off of her," cried Severus, plunging his hand into his robes.

Lily couldn't see Potter's expression but his drawl told her he was probably wearing a goading grin. He twirled his wand in his finger tips. "Really Snivellus, your attempt at chivalry is admirable. Perhaps being in Gryffindor would've honed it far better."

"Shut up, Potter," Lily spat, trying to move away from him.

"I much prefer brains to brawn," sneered Severus.

Potter's arm tensed against her back. "I think I've proven that I have the brains, Snivellus," he said coldly. "Besides, your little mantra's getting a bit old. It grew kind of stale around First Year. Then again, you kind of grew stale around First Year."

"Potter if you don't let go of me," growled Lily, trying to reach for her wand in her bag as she struggled against him.

"Let her go," Severus repeated defiantly, his skinny fists clenching.

"Why don't you run along to dinner?"

"LET HER GO!" shouted the Slytherin.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw Potter's wand move. She abandoned her one armed search for her wand. "Stop it, before you both get in trouble!" she cried. More softly, she added, "Go ahead to dinner, Sev; I'll handle this." Severus hesitated and Lily grinned ruefully. "Tell Carlotta that if I don't show for dinner, she better go looking for a messy, black-haired git."

Grudgingly, Severus trotted off. Lily wouldn't be surprised, if, despite his dislike of her friend, he delivered her message. Or came looking for Potter himself.

"What do you want, Potter?" Lily snapped when they were alone.

He let her go and grinned down at her. She felt her heart racing and her cheeks flushing. It almost felt as if her hair crackled with her anger, which was further stoked as he grinned at her casually, as if he had not just threatened and humiliated her friend.

"There's a Hogsmeade weekend coming up and I was wondering—,"

"No," she snapped, clutching the strap of her bag. Her mind viciously beat down the small part of her throbbing heart that chanted for her to say yes.

"I mean, we—,"

"You mean, you and Black are so in love with yourselves you can go on a double date by yourselves. Potter and Potter, Black and Black."

"You could just say 'no'," he retorted, his hazel eyes narrowing behind his glasses.

"I might've if you hadn't prefaced your proposal by insulting my friend!"

"When are you going to see he's not good?" demanded Potter.

She laughed derisively. "Not good because he deflates your precious ego?"

"Not good because he's into the Dark Arts," snarled Potter.

Lily sniffed. "Just because he's top of the Defense Against Dark Arts class and you aren't—,"

"It's not about that, Lily!"

"Evans."

"Huh?" He appeared genuinely bewildered and inexplicably, something in her chest trembled pleasantly at his bemused expression.

She glared at him. "You call me Evans, not Lily, Potter. When I say 'no' I mean 'no.' I do not want to go out with you and I certainly don't need to discuss my friendship with Severus with you."

"Why won't you go out with me?" he hurled at her, his eyebrows furrowed in a scowl.

"For starters, you're so full of yourself that you don't give a damn about throwing away the points that other people have worked hard to gain."

"Hey some of those are my points. Who wins the Quidditch games?"

"Gryffindor does! Not James Potter, no matter how bloody brilliant you think you are at Quidditch, you couldn't do it without the team!"

"I'll earn the points back in class. Does that make you happy?"

"Nothing you do makes me happy, Potter!" she flung at him, her angry passion bringing tears to her eyes. "I am going to find out how you sneak out of the common room, and when I do, I will make sure you never do it again!"

She whirled around and ran off. Her raging dislike and like for him ricocheting off one another in her head and chest.

"Evans," he called after her. "Dinner's the other way!"

"I'm not hungry!" she shouted as she clambered up the stairs, nearly forgetting to skip the trick step.

"Lily, I think you should go to bed. You've been up three nights straight. You fell asleep in Charms today!" urged Aura.

Lily shook her head stubbornly. "I am going to find out how they get out."

"Aura, just give up. She's not going to leave. Come on," sighed Marlene wearily as she trudged toward the stairs, still dressed in her Quidditch practice clothes.

Carlotta had tried to get her to go to bed, and failed. Mary had tried. Marlene. And now Aura had failed too. Lily glared at the fire as she waited for her friends to go to bed. When their footsteps had faded, she crossed her arms. She would sit here until she knew how the Marauders snuck out.

Unfortunately, her resolve was severely weakened by her lack of sleep and she did remember not even succumbing to slumber.

She awoke with a start and blinked at the bright common room. The fire was banked and several students sat around, getting an early start on homework. She glanced down. There was a warm blanket draped over her. Had one of her friend's come down last night? Why hadn't they woken her up to either keep watch or to urge her upstairs?

Lily sat up and ran a hand through her hair to smooth it down.

"Good morning, sleepyhead." She looked up to see Potter looking down at her. "You made it to 2."

"What?" she croaked. It was too early for her to even glare at him.

"2 a.m. That's what time you fell asleep."

"I—how," she stammered.

"I was watching you," he told her with an ironic smile.

Potter had watched her all night and she'd never seen him! And she was no closer to finding out how he snuck out. With a grunt of irritation she flung off the blanket and dragged it after her as she stormed up the stairs.

She was too distracted to notice that Potter appeared as tired as she, nor to notice that a corner of the blanket was embroidered with initials. She flung the blanket onto her bed, dressed quickly, and headed down to breakfast. The blanket was returned to its owner before she returned.

Only Aura, who had paused to check on Lily before heading to breakfast, saw to whom the blanket belonged. She glanced between the Marauders and Lily at dinner that evening, but when Lily asked her what was wrong, she simply shook her head.


	10. Chapter 10:Metaphor

James twirled a strand of Lily's hair around his finger as she read over a Transfiguration lesson. They sat beneath an oak tree, not far from the lake, two among the many other students sprawled out on the Hogwarts grounds, enjoying the beginning of spring.

"Lily."

"Hmmm?" She didn't look up from her book.

James leaned close to her ear. The honeysuckle scent of her hair distracted him briefly and he simply buried his nose in her tresses.

"Shouldn't you be studying for N.E.W.T's?" she asked, reaching up to place a hand on his cheek.

"I wanted to tell you something," he murmured.

Her hand drifted to her book to mark her place and she turned to look at him, forcing him to reluctantly withdraw his nose from her hair. She watched him with an expectant smile.

"Lily." Now that the time came, he found his mouth suddenly dry and his throat clicked as he swallowed several times. His hand jumped to his hair before he could stop it.

"Is something wrong, James?" she asked quietly, her hand moving to grip his knee reassuringly.

"Er, no. It's just, well, I'm a stag."

Lily's lips parted as if she were about to say something, but then her brows knit together. "Um, maybe you need to explain this to me."

James scratched his head. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to tell her he was an animagus right now. It had seemed important this morning when she'd mentioned the hoof print on her bed, but now…She would endlessly bug him for all the details and then still come up with more questions. But if he didn't say anything, she was going to press him to explain. Shit. He shouldn't have said anything in the first place. "Er-well, you see, well you know how Professor Dumbledore was talking about that painting the other day?"

"You mean the other night when he caught us—," she blushed.

He nodded. "Yeah. Well you know how he talked about the stag lost in the dark and how it was searching for a pond, and we could see the eternal glow of the pond in the painting?" He'd been thinking about this, but it was something he didn't think he'd ever tell her. Oh well, it was better than what he was first going to say.

"James—," she raised an eyebrow, thoroughly perplexed.

He rushed on. "Well, I mean that's me. You know when I always goaded you to argue? You were always so passionate; there was something more lifelike about you than any other girl I'd ever encountered. I was drawn to that passion, the way you always held for what was right. I fought with you hoping to find something in that passion—I don't know. Maybe it was a search for what's right, what's just, or maybe just what life is. When I made you cry, I wondered if there was something in those tears to learn from. I was drawn to you because, well, because, I don't know. My mind said I should hate you and yet something in me wouldn't let that happen, something made me like you, no matter what. I'm the stag lost in the dark, driven by you to find the pond to understand you, to understand life."

Lily simply blinked at him. "So you're not actually a stag?"

He laughed uncomfortably. Did she suspect that he was speaking literally or was she just questioning his tone? "How could I be, a, you know, stag?"

"Well you said it like—like, like you'd say I'm a boy, or I'm James."

James rolled his eyes at her. "Hopefully I don't always mention such obvious things."

She tilted her head, her green eyes contemplating him. He'd never realized that the green was so living, as if, somehow, the green in the grass and trees ripened because of her gaze. A small smile tugged at her lips and she laughed softly. "James you're always surprising me, I just thought, well," her voice became slightly defensive, as if he would make fun of her for thinking he was being literal, "you never know with you," she finished with a sigh.

James grinned and moved his arm around her shoulders. "I wouldn't want you to get bored of me."

She snorted. "I seriously doubt that." She leaned her head against his chest. "I'd be worried if I got bored around you."

"Yeah, me too."

"So James?"

"What?"

"It was just a metaphor, right?"

"Uh-huh. Yeah." He heard her sniff and her hand raised to her face. Was she _crying_? "Are you okay?"

"James that was one of the profoundest metaphors I've ever heard."

He didn't quite know how to respond to that so he opted for a thank you.

Lily's hair slid up against his chest as she shook her head. "No, thank_ you_, James."

James swallowed, trying to work out the lump in his throat—Lily was close to making him cry. He ran a hand through his hair. "So, um, next time you're mad at me, I'll come up with another one like that, ok?"

Lily looked up at him. He couldn't quite tell if she was frowning or smiling. "Do you always have to ruin the moment?"

He grinned. "I don't ruin moments—I just make them unique."

She was definitely smiling now. "What am I going to do with you, Potter?"

James pretended to groan. "Aw, c'mon Lily, do you have to use such obvious lead ins?"

Lily's eyebrows lifted into her draping bangs. "What?!"

"You obviously wanted a kiss."

"No not really. But how about: I help you find a little more understanding to life, as a lead in?"

James couldn't help the mischievous grin that spread across his face. "That could be taken fairly broadly. I mean, do you mean a snog, shag or…"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Stop while you're ahead."

"So we're going for the shag?" She didn't need to say anything; her expression was quite eloquent. "Snog sounds good."


	11. Chapter 11:Sky

To the reader:

I just had a revelation about the chapter in OOTP titled "Snape's Worst Memory." Perhaps I am slow,but before now I always thought that the worst part of the memory was Snape's humiliation because of James. I think now that much of it had to do with what he said to Lily.It also had to do with what Snape saw as his ultimate loss to James, Lily. It's Snape's worst memory because the fight, at least in Snape's opinion, wasn't over James making fun of him or showing everyone his underpants, the fight was over Lily and James, unknowingly, won. What do you think?

_Two figures spun around and around, laughing as they became dizzier. "I'm going to fall!" giggled the little girl breathlessly as she nearly stumbled into a tree. _

_"We have to fall together," insisted the boy. His overlarge smock twisted around him as his feet moved in circles._

_"On the count of three!" cried Lily. "One, two, three!"_

_There were two soft thuds as first she, and shortly after, Severus landed upon the ground. Their chests heaved as they gasped for air amidst their laughter. Lily closed her eyes while her breath steadied. The crushed grass beneath her released the freshest scent, sweet and green. She rolled onto her stomach and buried her face in it. _

_"Mmm," she sighed. She turned her head slightly and peeked through an eye, wondering at Severus's silence. He was an odd boy, or at least, very different from all the boys she knew. He didn't seem to have any friends beside her. He didn't mind playing quiet games with her instead of running around and being loud. Severus always seemed so sad and sometimes flinched when she scolded him for being mean about Tuney. She knew his father was very, very mean to him, but he never told her anything else. She had once asked if his father had given him a bruise on his arm, but Sev had gotten mad at her until she cried, so she didn't ask any more questions. _

_"Sometimes I wish I could fly," he said quietly, his eyes turned up toward the sky. "It would be nice to escape into the sky."_

_"From what?" Lily asked, her expression now serious. She rolled back onto her back to look upward through the canopy of trees at the blue, blue sky. There were no clouds to be seen. _

_"From all the mean things in the world."_

_Severus had to be the smartest person that she knew, besides her parents. Only grown-ups said things like that. _

_"But if you were in the sky, you'd miss the good things too, wouldn't you?" She sat up now, her stomach trembling as she waited for his reply. Did he think that their friendship was a bad thing?_

_"I would miss you, Lily," he agreed._

_She smiled in relief. "There are mean things in the world, but there're good things too. Like candy and the sun and friends."_

_"I don't have any friends, except you," Severus admitted quietly as he sat up. His dark hair fell into his face and he shoved it away. He stared at her. Lily couldn't see into his black eyes. They were closed to her bright green gaze. It always seemed that no matter how honest his face was, his eyes kept secrets he would not tell her. And that made her want to cry. _

Lily stared out the window as tears ran down her face, imagining Severus standing desperately outside of the Fat Lady, hoping that she would come back and un-end their friendship or wishing that he could rewind time. But she wouldn't go back out and time couldn't go back.

Maybe Severus would have been better off in the sky, away from all the bad things in the world, of which there now seemed to be a proliferating number.

She closed her eyes and Severus's livid face, for once pounding with color with the blood that was rushing to his head, reappeared in her mind, his anger having imprinted a clear image upon her memory._"Mudblood!"_

_Mudblood_,_mudblood _echoed around in her head, growing louder and then softer, mocking and then cruel, Avery, Mulciber, Malfoy, and Black's voices were joined by Severus's, all taunting her, the voice of all the Slytherin glares that seared her back. She crumpled onto a sofa, driven to the sobs that her former anger had held at bay.

Somewhere in the sky, a star dimmed at one more shattered friendship in the world. There seemed to be quite a number of dimming stars lately and greater darkness curled around those that still shone.


	12. Chapter 12: Lost Scene

Sirius and James sat on James's bed. It had been hard to get rid of Peter, but on a rare occasion, he was in detention when they were not for not completing an assignment.

Remus sat across from them, fidgeting under their grave expressions. "What's up?" he asked, his voice unusually high. His eyes refused to meet theirs.

"We know," James said quietly, peering intently at his friend through his glasses.

"Know what?" Remus was swaying, his face pinched and absent of all color. It looked as if he was about to throw up.

"Know that you're a," Sirius glanced at James and James nodded solemnly. During potions they had decided that they would tell Remus that they knew. It had taken them a year and a half to figure it out, and for two boys who were so used to finding out things they really weren't supposed to know, they were fairly disappointed it had taken so long. They did not seem to consider that as Second Years, they could hardly be expected to recognize their friend's condition.

Sirius took a deep breath. "That you're a werewolf."

Remus blinked as his hands moved to clench the covers on his bed. "No, I'm not!" he yelled. Suddenly he launched himself off of the bed, his fists flying as if he were about to pummel them. James and Sirius's eyes widened as they leaned away from him. They hadn't known how he was going to react. "I'm not! I am not a," Remus gagged on the word as he began to cry. His hands were now clutching desperately at his hair. "I am not a monster!" he sobbed. "I'm not a monster."

His slender form trembled and his hands moved to hide his face.

James shifted uncomfortably and looked to Sirius for support, but all his best mate could do was stare at their friend. James jerked a hand through his hair. "Er, well, you're not a monster, but you are a werewolf, right?"

"What are you going to do to me?" Remus's voice was barely audible.

"Uhh, do to you?" Sirius asked. "Are we supposed to do something?"

"People hate werewolves." Their friend's tear-streaked face appeared from behind his hands.

"Well, yeah, but you're our friend, how could we hate you?" asked James, thoroughly perplexed and rather offended that Remus had thought that they would just dump him. "And if you're a werewolf, they can't all be that bad."

"But they are," insisted Remus.

"C'mon all the girls think you're the nicest boy in our year," Sirius piped up. "Though they still think I'm the cutest."

James rolled his eyes at his friend, but Sirius simply grinned and wriggled his eyebrows.

Remus blushed. "But, you don't understand. When I become a—a—a werewolf, everything's gone."

"Gone?" Sirius and James demanded in unison.

"Yeah," Remus said wearily, his shoulders slumped in defeat, "like every human feeling just left me. Like, like I'm lost. It's like the scene in front of me goes blank and instinct takes over."

"But you're only a werewolf once a month," James pointed out. "All the rest of the time you're Remus Lupin, our friend with a kind of," he scratched his head and then grinned, "with a furry little problem."

Remus blinked at him incredulously as his jaw hung slack. "Just a little problem?" he managed to get out.

"Yeah, nothing too major," agreed Sirius with a grin.

For a moment Remus appeared relieved at their acceptance, but then suddenly, he began to back away from them, very slowly as if afraid they would notice his movement and leap on him.

"What's wrong?" asked James, his brow wrinkling.

"I think you're mental," Remus told them honestly.

Sirius turned to James. "Us, mental? And he's the one who thought we were going to chuck him as a friend just because he's a werewolf."

Remus was at his bed now and looked as if he wished he were on the other side of the room.

James decided that it was time for a subject change. "So, can we stay with you when you, you know, transform?"

Their sandy-haired friend swayed as if he were about to faint and his eyes threatened to pop out onto the floor. "Stay—with—stay—friends—me," he jabbered incoherently.

"Yeah, we could—we could stay under James's cloak!"

"Yeah, and we could keep you company so you wouldn't get so lost," agreed James.

"We could find a way to throw our voices around the room so you never knew where we were. I'm sure there's a simple charm." He and James grinned at one another, apparently believing that they were being very clever.

"You are mental!" cried Remus, clutching at his bed post, wondering how his friends could at once be so smart and so stupid. "Didn't you _hear_? My instinct takes over. Werewolves want to maul people! Do you think that I couldn't smell you? Everything's lost, gone! I wouldn't know I was hurting you!"

"Well we'll find some _way_ to stay with you," insisted James, "you can't always get lost."

By the time Peter trudged in a half an hour later from detention, James, Sirius, and Remus, mostly James and Sirius though, had gone through two parchment lengths of ideas. James and Sirius were sprawled on the bed, while Remus knelt between them, listening as the one boy would get half an idea out only to have it contradicted by the other.

"What's going on?" Peter asked.

"Nothing, really," Sirius said airily.

Sirius glanced up and rolled against James as he pushed his bangs out of his eyes. "Hey, watch it, Sir, you just made me mess up," protested James, grabbing the ink bottle before it tipped over.

"It was probably a dumb idea anyway."

James pouted and scratched out what he'd written.

Peter, who could clearly see that they were up to something, frowned but tried not to appear too hurt at being excluded.

Remus, who understood all too well what it was like to be excluded, spoke up happily, "They're planning how to stay with me when I'm a werewolf."

Peter's watery eyes widened and for a moment . "You're a werewolf?" His eyes rolled up and he thudded to the floor. The three boys looked down at their tag-along friend.

James ran a hand through his hair. "Er, we hadn't told him yet, mate."

"Oh."


	13. Chapter 13:Degrees

Loving in Degrees

Sitting in the corner of his compartment, her eyes were slightly puffy but brightly green. He was too young to appreciate her looks, but he noticed her. He noticed Lily Evans.

She was a know-it-all. And bossy. Evans was the biggest pain in the butt, but for some reason none of the teachers saw that.

She glared at him, the ends of her red hair singed. Her eyes threatened to overflow, anger raising her voice louder and louder. He was supposed to be angry but something wasn't right in him and it struck him that she was beautiful, singed hair, red-face, and yelling included.

_Ten Reasons Not To Like Lily Evans. One, she's bossy, or she used to be, sort of, okay, she's not bossy she just follows the rules too much. Two, she thinks she knows everything, well actually, one time she did ask me for help on Transfiguration. Three, she got me put in detention four times_ (Sirius and I did not put ourselves there, Peter!)_. Four, she hardly knows anything about Quidditch (_Shut up, Sirius, I say she doesn't). _Five, she's nosy, well actually, she just wants to keep us out of trouble. Six, she called me a git and a wanker_ (Remus, what do you mean I deserved it? Whose side are you on?) _Seven, she's always so nice without being fake, is that a bad thing? Does that count? Eight…okay skip that one. Nine…uhh, come back later, Damn it you guys, you ruined all of my good reasons._(I know my name Remus, what? _Okay,_ I like her! Oh Merlin I've lost my mind! I like Lily Evans!)

"No." "Check the definition of 'to refuse.'" "Has someone obliviated you?! I've said 'no' over twenty times!" "The giant squid would make a preferable date." "Yeah, when Nearly Headless Nick's head comes off." "No is two letters so that even thick-headed gits like you can understand what it means!"And still, with almost pitiful hope, "Evans, will you go out with me?"

She was something I couldn't have. She threw me for a loop when her tears over the end of her friendship with Severus made me hurt for her. She said 'yes' and I realized I still wouldn't stop fighting for her, just this time it wouldn't be against her but against whatever or whoever may harm her.

Everyone says marriage is a big commitment. I guess I missed something in the guy talk because I was pretty committed to Lily Evans before she became Lily Potter.

I was skeptical when my parents told me that love can grow, but as I hold Harry James Potter, I'm suddenly wondering if my heart just expanded.

I did not hesitate. I had no wand, nothing but me between Voldemort and Lily and Harry. And that's where I belonged. I'd never thought about it, but I knew then that they were more precious than my life.


	14. Chapter 14:Seize the Day

Seize the Day

Your footsteps echo alongside his in the empty corridor. The torch flames tremble as you pass.

Your patrol is coming to an end and he still hasn't spoken. It's odd, the quiet. You realize that you've come to look forward to the time you spend together on patrol. You steal a glance at him—for the hundredth time tonight. His hair is in as much of a disarray as ever. While it used to make your fingers itch to yank it until it laid flat, it's now endearing and you have to clench your hands to keep your fingers from reaching out to run through his locks. His hair is still damp from the shower he hurtled through so you wouldn't have to start patrol alone.

Not for the first time in the past few weeks, you notice how he's filled out and grown out of those knobby knees. He's tall and slender, no longer short and skinny. The thoughtful set of his mouth and silence are a testament to his maturity…

He turns toward you so fast that you don't have time to pretend that you weren't looking at him. You blink and to your horror, your cheeks flood with heat. This brings a small smile to his face and his shoulders sink a little. He must have been tense.

"Will you go out with me?"

Your breath hitches. There is no audience this time, no swagger, no cocky grin. Only silence as he patiently waits for your answer. He thinks you can't see it, but you can see the lift of hope in his eyebrows, the pleading in his shadowed eyes.

Is this against the rules? You are supposed to have detested him for years. This is the boy who burned your hair, dumped you in the lake, made your quills shoot ink into your face. Friendship is a new concept between you; you're still weighing it in your hands to get the feel of it. Do friends go out so soon? Can Heads date one another?

You like rules—they make the complications of life far easier. True, there aren't always rules, and then you have to go with what you think is right. Usually you don't land too far from the mark, if not right on it.

Is this right? Are there rules being ignored? Your brain's hesitating, but your heart is pounding in exasperation with yourself.

You rise up and seize the day. You're leaning against him heavily for support; he nearly falls. Your lips don't quite meet his unsuspecting ones. His eyes are still open, and so are yours. His heart is thudding against your chest, and you realize just how close you are to him. Your cheeks sear with heat and your head buzzes with the sensation of every place that you're pressed close to him.

Then his arms slide around you and readjust your weight comfortably against him. His lips align with yours and first hazel and then green eyes fall close. His arms tighten.

The rules lay scattered at your feet. That's what James Potter does to you, what he's always done to you. He makes you seize the day.

That's why it's right, Lily Evans.


	15. Chapter 15:Opposite

Hello, everyone, continuing on the theme track. Not sure how well this one went, but I wanted to put Lily and James in someone else's perspective. Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Audrie Melone

Professor McGonagall stood before Professor Dumbledore, two letters clutched in her hand.

The Headmaster examined her with a slight smile. She would have bet all the biscuits in her tin that he knew exactly what she was referring to. "How has there been a mistake, Minerva?" he inquired quietly.

"Albus, you have made Lily Evans and James Potter Head Girl and Head Boy."

He nodded and leaned back in his chair; his eyebrows lifted ever so slightly. "So I have."

She pursed her lips. She trusted Dumbledore's judgment greatly, but perhaps he was taking his faith in cooperation a little too far in this decision. For Merlin's sake, James Potter had possibly set the record for school detentions! And saw it as one of his greatest accomplishments! Dumbledore waved his hand at a seat. "Sit, Minerva, I believe that you came here to discuss this with me. You quite clearly have opinions that challenge the wisdom of my decision."

She perched on the end of her seat. "Albus, Mr. Potter is no doubt a charming young man and talented student. He is an excellent captain for the Gryffindor team. He was a satisfactory prefect this year, but Head Boy? With Lily Evans as his partner? I do not believe I have ever seen a more volatile combination, Gryffindors and Slytherins not withstanding!"

The Headmaster seemed to consider his response as he gazed out the window. When he turned back to her, he was no longer smiling. "Miss Evans is mature enough to handle her position with Mr. Potter, however much she may seem to dislike him." He looked at her over the rims of his half-moon glasses, his eyes twinkling. "I do believe that is your concern, Minerva, rather than their capabilities of handling the role?"

McGonagall's eyebrows had arched at the word 'seem.' "Yes, I do not doubt," she paused and reconsidered her words, "in the case of Miss Evans, that she is capable of handling the role. Mr. Potter is a bit of a stretch for my mind, but he served his prefect role without causing too much complaint. Merlin knows, he's certainly the only one who can keep Mr. Black in check! But, Albus, _seem_ to dislike him? Lily and James are as opposite as day and night! Miss Evans has always regarded her peers with respect, proved to be an exceptionally brilliant and dedicated student, and carefully observed the rules. She carries herself with an astounding maturity and constantly has everyone's best interests in mind." She had leapt up and begun to pace, unable to hold herself still any longer. "Mr. Potter on the other hand has been, simultaneously, the greatest troublemaker and one of most brilliant students that I have ever taught. Yet, he directs his intelligence in most unproductive ways. As charming as he is, he has occasionally been arrogant and at times inconsiderate of the feelings of those around him. I have witnessed the confrontations between Miss Evans and Mr. Potter, of which there have been no few number. We have enough to handle without mediating a falling out between the Head students!" She stopped and pursed her lips. "Albus, I will admit that I like both students, perhaps more than I ought to as their professor, but we must be practical here." She tapped the letters in her hand for emphasis.

Professor Dumbledore sighed heavily. "I understand your concerns, Minerva, and I have taken them into account. But Miss Evans and Mr. Potter are not so opposite as you portray them. Miss Evans can be as mischievous minded as Mr. Potter, she simply elects not to act upon those impulses—most of the time." McGonagall's lips parted at the Headmaster's exception, but she did not interrupt. A recollection of Miss Evans emptying a bowl of potatoes and then gravy over Mr. Potter's head came to mind. Dumbledore observed her amusement and continued, "And Mr. Potter, as we saw last year in the incident regarding Mr. Snape and Mr. Lupin, possesses a maturity equal to Miss Evans'. As for their arguing, I have reason to believe that Mr. Potter will be sure Miss Evans has little to be exasperated about."

Professor McGonagall frowned at the knowing look on the Headmaster's face and he chuckled. "Minerva, one who possesses such observation skills as yours can surely see my understanding."  
She glanced down at the letters. What was she supposed to see? What she saw was James constantly harassing Lily. What she saw was Lily trudging from the hospital wing. What she saw was the puffiness of Lily's eyes and James badgering her on their way from class.What she saw was James's scattered parchments on the floor and the letters L and J scrawled in the corner of several. Professor McGonagall gasped at her lapse in understanding. She was not used to blushing, but felt her cheeks doing so as she looked up at the Headmaster.

"Your role as Headmaster is not to play matchmaker," she said sharply to disguise her embarrassment.

Dumbledore smiled benevolently. "You are correct, Minerva. I am to match students who will work exceptionally well together."

"Well, let's just hope that Mr. Potter and Miss Evans realize they're not so opposite as they think they are," she said tersely as she turned to go.

Just before the door closed behind her, she heard the Headmaster muse, "Then again, opposites are said to attract."

Professor McGonagall shook her head as she hurried to the owlry. After all, geniuses were never said to be fully sane and Dumbledore was certainly a genius.


	16. Chapter 16:Passions Run

_Okay, this takes place about a month after James and Lily have started dating. Still on the theme track; this chapter went a little longer than I expected. Enjoy._

_I generally listen to music while writing, as many do. For those who for some reason have an interest, my music accompianiment for this piece was Wake me up inside by Evanescence. I have an eclectic music taste so the music genre will range from chapter to chapter. _

_Anyway, enjoy. _

_Audrie _

James pushed off the wall he was leaning against as he easily picked Lily out of the crowd flowing down the stairs. He'd watched her movements so many times that he'd memorized the motions that set her apart from the people around her. He'd only glimpsed her at breakfast and she'd sat with Aura today in class. He could practically feel himself bouncing as he waited for her come closer. How could a few hours seem so long?

James couldn't keep a lopsided grin off his face as he approached her. His heart thudded loudly in a reminder of just how lucky he was. "Hey Lils!" Her head didn't turn an iota as she continued to talk to Marlene; she walked right past him. "Hey Lily!" he called louder.

Several people glanced back at him, but she continued to walk, her conversation apparently becoming more animated because her hands were fluttering rapidly as she talked. James sighed and jogged after her. He tapped her on the shoulder. "Hey Lily!"

For a second she was quiet and Marlene gave up all pretense of listening to the conversation. She glanced between Lily and him as they both awaited Lily's response. "Hello, Potter," Lily gritted.

What the hell was going on here? Was she _angry_ at him? For what? She hadn't pulled a "Potter" on him since they came to a truce at the beginning of the year. She certainly hadn't used it since they'd become friends and then started dating.

James shoved a hand through his hair, wincing as his fingers briefly got stuck in the tangled mop. He really should have brushed his hair this morning. "Am I missing something here?"

Marlene cleared her throat and adjusted her bag on her shoulder. "Er, I hear what you're saying, Lily. We'll -um- talk later." Lily nodded curtly, her back still to James. He looked to Marlene for some hint at the cause of Lily's ire, but his quidditch teammate was half sprinting down the corridor without a backward glance.

Lily spun around and James nearly stumbled back. He hadn't seen her glare at him like that since the beginning of sixth year when the Marauders had had Peeves dive bomb the students with water balloons filled with spiders.

"Lils?"

"'It's different now,' is it?" she hissed, jabbing a finger at his chest. "'The games are over,'! 'Being with you is more important than breaking the rules all the time,'! Any other lies you want to spout, Potter?"

He flinched as she spat his name. Already he could see the glassy glaze of tears forming over her eyes. His heart and stomach met head on, contorting as one tried to sink and the other to rise. His brain was reeling through his actions over the last 24 hours. What had he done wrong that she knew about? What the hell was going on? What was he supposed to do?

As bewildered as he was, he knew the worst option was to ask what he'd done because then she'd just accuse him of being coy or whatever other notions an angry Lily conjured—and there were many. _Just say you're sorry; she's bound to tell you what you've done wrong in the next few seconds_. James didn't know just how sound Sirius's advice was and now wasn't the time to find out.

"—why?"

"Huh?"

"YOU WEREN'T THERE JAMES!" she cried, the tears riding over her flaring cheeks. Oh Merlin, she was making him feel like he'd beaten and robbed his grandmother. Where was he supposed to have been? Were they supposed to have had a Head's meeting?

"Where?"

Lily's lips trembled as she fought to get her words out. "In-In Bed!"

"When?"

"Last night." At least she wasn't yelling now, but the hurt of betrayal in her eyes was worse than the shouting.

Oh. Oh shit. James scrambled around his brain for an answer as Lily glared up at him, no doubt waiting for an explanation. He couldn't tell her that he was jaunting around Hogwarts as an animagus with two other illegal animagi and a werewolf. What was he supposed to say?

"I got hungry." He wanted to wince at the lie, but her unblinking gaze told him that she was looking for any sign that he wasn't being truthful.

"Along with Peter and Sirius?" Her eyebrows were arched dangerously high. At least Remus would be exempt from her suspicion; he was supposedly visiting an ill aunt.

"Uh, yeah. See, Peter had this essay that Sirius and I were trying to help him with. We kind of lost track of time and missed dinner." Actually they'd been modifying the Marauder's Map through dinner. While they'd only been able to transfer teachers to dots on the parchment, Sirius had discovered a spell that would allow everyone at Hogwarts to be displayed. "The hunger caught up with me after quidditch practice so I asked them to go with me."

Lily considered his words as the redness in her cheeks receded and her scowl eased. "Oh. Well, you shouldn't really be out late," he saw her struggling with herself and then her shoulders sank a little, "but I guess if you were helping a friend and not causing any trouble." She tried to smile.

James felt as if she'd slammed her fist into his gut and kept pounding him. She didn't question his story as she quietly suggested they catch the end of lunch; she trusted him. But he was lying for a good cause, wasn't he?

Wasn't he? In the darkness of his dorm, the question still throbbed in his skull, making sleep impossible. Sirius's snores were interrupted occasionally when Peter mumbled something in his sleep. James turned his pillow over to the cool side and laid his head back down. She was always so honest with him and never once did she suspect all the secrets that he had and kept. It had taken him nearly two years to get Lily Evans, but when she finally capitulated, she threw herself wholeheartedly into the relationship and that included trusting him, most of the time at least. She understood that pranking was just a part of him that wasn't going to go away with maturity.

"James?"

He twisted to look over his shoulder. The curtains had been parted slightly. The moon glowed over Lily's face, illuminating her pale cheeks and vivid eyes, and highlighting her red tresses with shadow. "Can I come in?" she whispered.

James sat up and nodded. Lily crawled onto his bed, allowing the curtain to fall back into place. He blinked in the darkness. He could feel Lily shifting. Her hand brushed his calve and then his knee. He felt her shift again.

"James?"

He was reaching for her when she gasped and toppled into him, knocking them both back into the pillow. She landed on his arm, sending a jolt of pain through it. "OWW!" he protested.

"James! I'm—," he cut her off as he clapped his hand over her mouth. He listened, just waiting for Sirius to yank the curtains apart. If Sirius found them, James could forget having any peace for the next few days; his best friend was the kind of person who kept spewing jokes and obnoxious little innuendos until someone else caught his interest.

Yet Sirius just kept snoring. Was he that tired?

Lily tugged at James's hand until he allowed it to fall away. "I put a silencing charm on your bed," she whispered.

Oh. "Are you okay?" he whispered back. Why were they whispering when neither Sirius nor Peter would hear them if they screamed at the top of their lungs? Though James wasn't complaining. Lily's warm breath was creating a pleasant tingling against his skin.

"Yeah. Did I hurt you?"

"Not really. More surprised me; that's all."

"I couldn't sleep," she murmured.

James smiled. "Me neither." Her head found his shoulder and she shifted around until she was curled against him. He tried to keep a hold on his breathing, but his lungs had other ideas, sending his breath out in erratic patterns. He'd held Lily before. She had sat curled against him and even sat across his lap once. But though he could not see her, something about the darkness made this setting so much more intimate. Or maybe it was just having Lily in his bed.

"James, I'm—I'm really sorry about earlier." Her voice drifted up to his ear and his arm tightened around her.

"I think my arm'll make it," he joked.

But she didn't laugh, nor did she sound amused when she spoke. "No, you know what I'm talking about. I feel so childish. I walked around half the day ignoring you, enjoying stewing in my anger, telling myself that you'd just proved everything I held against you. I should have just talked to you about it."

"If it makes you feel any better, I didn't realize that you were angry with me." He slid his other arm around her. "I should apologize too. You're right; I shouldn't have been out of bed."

It was silent between them for so long that James wondered if Lily'd fallen asleep. But then she sighed. "I can't make you promise that it won't happen again, can I?"

He wanted to: anything to make her happy. But he couldn't just abandon Moony like that, and besides Sirius was already wary of losing his best friend to a girl. James shook his head, even though she couldn't see. "No I can't."

The silence stretched out again and James wished he knew occlumency. What was she thinking? Was she angry at him? Did she think that he was choosing his friends over her? A thought struck him like a bludger out of the fog. He felt so stupid for not noticing it before that he was almost too ashamed to ask her. But his curiosity pressed him until he blurted out, "What were you doing in our room?"

"You grabbed my Transfiguration notes when you bolted out of the library. I thought I'd see you later, but I didn't. At around 11, I still hadn't seen you so I came up to get them from you and none of you were here."

He teased his fingers through her hair as he gazed down at the dark form of her head. He'd gone to every last resort to get her and now he was forgetting that he had to keep her. Sometimes, as he watched her examine her finished essay or frown over a concept, an odd little inkling wriggled in the back of his mind smoothed the warmth of contentment through him. Yet he could never hold onto the inkling long enough to force it into a thought. "I'm really sorry, Lils."

He felt her head move and she squirmed out of his hold. With a jolt, he felt her body settle over his. Her fingers brushed his lips and James felt her hair slide in light folds onto his shoulder. The glow of her eyes was dimmed by the shadows of his bed but it didn't matter because the next moment his eyes slid closed as her lips met his. His fingers came up to tangle themselves in the waves of her hair.

The gentle, hesitant movement of her lips against his raised a shuddering thirst in him. The scent of her hair, of her skin, the feel of her chest pressed against his and her fingers gliding over his temples and into his hair made him seek to more as time sifted way.

His free hand slid down her back to pull her closer as he often did. Yet this time it was different. No robes slid to bunch beneath his fingers. Instead his hands encountered the smooth plane of her back. Pushing the limits of their former encounters, he slowly allowed his hand to drift beneath the fabric of her pajamas to rub circles over her skin. His fingers tingled at the contact. Lily stiffened and her lips lost the harmony of their kiss.

James stopped; his heart thudded as he realized that he may have gone too far. He felt Lily's cheek burn against his. He began to slide his hand from underneath her shirt, but she reached back to stop him. "You just surprised me," she breathed. Her lips retook his, this time with more determination. Somehow her other leg had slid over his legs without him noticing and she was now straddling him.

He returned to tracing circles over her back. Lily's lips broke away from his to press against the corner of his mouth. Her lips skimmed the rim of his jaw and found his ear. His breath sucked in when she discovered a sensitive spot. James felt her smile against his cheek as her lips slid back to meet his. One of her hands found its way beneath his shirt and he shivered as her cool hand rushed over his back. They both gasp when her hand rode over his side to move up his chest in gentle caresses. She pressed herself into him, and James nearly fell away in the burning consciousness of every place that they touched.

This time, it was he who broke away from the kiss. For a moment he struggled to get his breath back; the task wasn't made any easier by Lily's chest rising and falling rapidly against his. He stilled his hand on her back. His body was screaming at his mind for stopping, but he wasn't going to go any further.

"What's wrong?" she whispered.

His body struggled to suppress his next words, but he fought to get them out. He wasn't going to let his physical desires impede upon his relationship with Lily. And he had a feeling that was what was just happening. Unfortunately his body caused enough disconnect in his mind that his thoughts came out as, "Er—you're not wearing a bra."

Lily's face hovered just centimeters from his, so close that he was nearly cross-eyed looking at her. She remained there for a few moments before she rolled off of him, an act which left him feeling both thankful and disappointed.

Suddenly he felt her trembling at his side, and his mouth went dry with relief at having stopped it when he did. He sat up to look down at her. James didn't dare touch her at the moment for fear that he would explode whatever her shudders were holding in. He ran a hand through his tousled hair as his mind jumped around for something to say. "Are you okay?" he asked finally.

She sniffed and then her form shook with a sob. "I'm sorry, James. I'm sorry I'm such a prude, but, but…," she dissolved into her tears, leaving him to watch her in bemusement. A _prude_? That certainly wasn't the message that he'd been getting…he was pretty close to needing a cold shower.

What was he supposed to say? His gut told him to wing it in usual James Potter fashion, but his logic told him that wasn't the best strategy. But what else did he have?

"I don't think that you're a prude, Lily," he told her. That was easy, but what now? "I mean, it's okay if you realized that you wanted to stop." He swallowed—had she just been going along with him? It hadn't felt like it, but, well she was a woman, and they were as cryptic as sphinxes, as his father put it.

"Look, you're the kind of person who respects herself too much to be a petting zoo for every guy that crosses her fancy. You probably also want a lot more—erm—emotional intimacy, before you get to physical intimacy." That was originally his mother's observation about Lily, but he agreed wholeheartedly with her. "Lily, do you think I asked you out for two years just so I could get a snog and a shag?" Lily's sobs were subsiding and he reached out a trembling hand to squeeze her shoulder. "Look, what just happened can wait. Yes, your body," James felt his cheeks flame and the saliva in his mouth burn as he felt like his parents, "may have— er— wanted other things, but that doesn't mean your mind has to want them too."

His other arm reached out to her and she uncurled herself to move into his lap. He held her against him, his nose running through her hair. "I'm happy just sitting like this." His seventeen-year-old body protested the statement, but it didn't override the sincerity or warmth in the statement.

Lily hiccupped. "You don't mind?"

He smiled and tightened his arms around her. "You're much more important to me, Lily. You're by far the prettiest girl at Hogwarts, but that's just a small part of the reason I like you. Some guys date dumb girls so that they feel smarter, but since I already know I'm fabulously brilliant, I can risk an intelligent woman."

Lily gave him a weak chuckle before she sniffed. "That's a huge risk."

"I have to admit that the few times I've gotten the upper hand on you, I've felt bloody brilliant."

She laughed for a few moments, and then fingered the sleeve of his pajamas. "James?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I have a kiss?"

"Of course."

"One thing though. Just be careful because, apparently, passions run high in the dark."

"I think I can manage that."


	17. Chapter 17:Connection

_I'm procrastinating from getting my work done, but hey, the Marauders are far more interesting than writing up a Supreme Court case brief. Anyway, still on the theme track. The song for this one was Papercut by Linkin Park. Enjoy._

_Audrie _

The moon was enslaving him once again. He huddled on the floor, trying to hold off his alter ego, but he could feel him coming, his menacing footsteps coming closer. His eyes narrowed as the muddled dark forms of ruined furniture sharpened in my sight. Sounds morphed, revealing more of their essence; his ears arrowed in on the scratching of rat claws in the next room over. A stag snorted. Then the smells came. The lingering smell of potions, cologne, leather, wood.

The blood was roiling through his veins, his appendages lengthening, his fingers curling into claws. _No!_ his mind yelled. _No!_ _Be human. Think! I am human. _But nothing stopped the transformation. He felt myself growing and then blackness…and howling.

_Hunger. Hunt. Large, medium, small prey? _The werewolf's head swiveled around as a door clicked and three animals emerged. The werewolf's lips curled back in a growl and it hunched, ready to spring. The other animals held still, only the rat quivering in fear.

_Familiar scent.__Pack. _The stag stepped forward, keeping its head level. _No attack_. It stopped just before werewolf and snorted. _Friends_? The stag nodded at the brief depth that spiraled through the werewolf's eyes. _Not prey._

The dog trotted up, braced its paws against the werewolf, and licked its face. _Safe._ The stag trotted to a doorway and waited. After a moment, the dog dropped away and followed the stag. The rat scampered to the two beasts. _Follow._

The werewolf trotted after them. _Pack._

Remus awoke on something soft. His nose felt numb with the lack of smell. He opened his eyes and everything seemed dim.

"Feeling okay?" James's voice sounded dull and flat to his ears.

Remus turned toward his friend and smiled. "Yeah, thanks."

"No problem," replied Sirius, plopping onto Remus's bed in the hospital wing. He yanked a bar of chocolate from Remus's bedside table and tore the wrapping off of it before shoving as much as he could into his mouth. "Mmm starffin," he announced through the mass of chocolate. Peter had already helped himself to some of the chocolate.

"How was I last night?" Remus ventured, glancing at all of his friends. Some mornings James and Sirius winced at the bruises they'd received trying to keep control of him, but they always insisted that a little pain was worth keeping their friend sane.

Sirius grinned. "Since you didn't find a girl werewolf, I can't really tell you. But you'll bring a whole new meaning to wild animal sex."

Remus blushed and James rolled his eyes. "That's just gross," protested Peter through his own mouthful of chocolate.

Sirius shook his hair out of his eyes and smirked. "You can blame Moony for that; he asked."

"No, we can blame your perverted mind," Remus retorted. He pushed himself up until he was sitting upright. "I don't think I want you on my bed."

"I'm not getting in it," Sirius replied sweetly. "OWWW!" he cried as James cuffed him in the ear.

"You were fine, Moony. Not a single bruise," James assured his friend, seemlessly ignoring his best friend's glare. "You better rest up; you still look exhausted. We'll see you later."

Sirius leapt off of the bed. "Yeah, we better get going before Madam Pomfrey shows up. Catch you later, mate."

Peter scrambled off the bed and followed his friends down the row of beds. "See ya later, Moony! Thanks for the chocolate. Oh, by the way, we got a surprise for you," he called over his shoulder.

"Wormtail you weren't supposed to tell! He might figure it out now," protested James.

"I'm so—," the door cut Peter off.

Remus smiled. They were his friends; the connection to humanity that kept him from being a monster. He owed them so much and they never even realized it.


	18. Chapter 18:Lull and Storm

_Still on the theme track. Enjoy!_

_Audrie Melone _

Lily glanced out of the window. Even the speeding train could not conceal the heaviness of the clouds overweighed with snow. Everything had been still since this morning, awaiting the rush of a large snow. She tapped her fingers impatiently against the cold window. She hadn't seen James since she'd gotten on the train an hour ago. She'd looked for him several times but he had proved elusive.

The door slid open and she jerked up. Lily tried not to look too disappointed when she saw that it was only Marlene. "Have you—"

"Seen James?" she finished. Marlene sighed. "No."

"I saw Peter pass about ten minutes ago," Mary put in.

"She's looking for James," Carlotta pointed out, "not Peter."

"Yeah, but Peter's usually with the Marauders," Mary argued.

Lily sighed and went back to looking out the window, blocking her friends out as Aura somehow settled the argument and they began to discuss what they'd gotten their parents for Christmas. Maybe James was still angry at her. They'd argued four days ago over a letter James had found in her bag from Severus. She hadn't known that it was there, but before she could read it, James had tossed it into the fire. The ensuing fight had been one of their most spectacular at Hogwarts, practically clearing out the common room. They had barely spoken since, but Lily had hoped they'd reconcile before they parted for Christmas. While she was still angry at him for destroying the letter, she could understand, in some measure, his actions. After all she had insisted that she wasn't friends with Severus anymore and barely spoke to him, if at all. That had been a whole other argument after Severus had hexed James three days after he found out that Lily had finally agreed to date James.

"Lily, he can't be that mad," Aura said finally, tired of seeing her friend moping.

"Yeah, as loud as you two went at it, you never broke up," Marlene added. "I think we would've heard if you had."

Mary patted Lily's shoulder. "I bet he's just too proud to admit he was a git, but he'll come around."

"If he knows what's good for him, that is." Carlotta tossed her hair over shoulder and glanced at her watch. "I'm supposed to meet Morse, but I'll be back before we get to King's Cross."

She left and the other girls began a game of exploding snap. Lily glanced out the window. The storm was still at bay. She hoped the lull held until she got home; she didn't want her parents driving through the storm to get her from the station.

A little while later, the door to the compartment slid open and Lily looked up. Remus stood there, his hands in his pockets. "Er, hi," he said, as all eyes turned toward him. "Lily, could you come with me for a second please."

Lily climbed over her friends' legs to follow him out. "If James comes, tell him I'm with Remus, okay?" she asked.

They assured her that they would and she hurried after Remus who was waiting at the other end of the car. They had gone through several when Lily finally asked where they were going. "I thought you wanted a word?"

Remus smiled vaguely. "Someone else does." But he wouldn't say anymore until they came to one of the last cars. He stood in front of a compartment door.

"I think James is waiting," he told her.

"You do realize that this is kind of creepy."

Remus laughed. "I said the same thing, but you know James, he can be pretty stubborn." He gave her a small wave. "I'm off. Padfoot and Wormtail are waiting for me."

With that he turned and hurried away, leaving Lily alone in the corridor. She tried to peer into the compartment but found that the window had been blocked. If she was walking into a prank she was going to throttle first James and then Remus.

She sighed and slid the door open. And her jaw dropped.

James was standing there amidst a flurry of snow. The floor and seats were covered in snow as well. Twinkling lights were hung along the rack and on closer inspection she saw that they were glowing berries. He smiled as she slid the door shut behind her.

"Merry early Christmas," James said. The snow seemed so real as it brushed her skin, but when it melted away, it left no wet spot. Lily couldn't think of anything to say and James's hand jerked to his hair. "Look, Lily, I'm really sorry about the letter. You're right; I had no right to burn it, no matter what. I'm really sorry."

His waiting expression was so earnest that Lily couldn't help but smile. There were lights lining the window. He'd remembered what she'd said about Christmas: her favorite parts were the snow and lights. She went to him and wrapped her arms around him. "I was so mad at you, Potter, but it got a little bit lonely not talking to you at all."

James's arms slid around her. "I'm really sorry, Lily." He shifted. "Can we kiss and make up? And just to let you know," he added before she could say anything, "we're under mistletoe, so regardless of whether or not we make up, I think we should kiss."

Lily laughed. "I think we can do both."

James grinned and her eyes drifted shut as his lips met hers. He was warm around her and he tasted of butterbeer. His fingers tangled in her loose hair and hers massaged his neck.

When they broke apart, Lily glanced out of the window. The first flurries of the storm were arriving. She groaned and James turned to follow her gaze.

"It's going to storm," she complained.

"True," he agreed. He turned back to her and placed a hand on her cheek to guide her face back to his. "But this storm's far more interesting." And he kissed her again.

A/N: Urrghh, I hated this theme. There were far too many possibilities that just didn't work out in the end. I hope you enjoyed it, though. Happy Holidays, and to those who celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas.


	19. Chapter 19:Animal

_Er, a little bit of a stretched theme. Anyway, enjoy._

_Audrie_

James heard the door open and looked up. Lily smiled when she saw him sitting on her couch.

"I guess Muggle locks aren't much against you, are they?" she chuckled.

He grinned as he got up to kiss her. "Yeah, but you better put some more protections on those. We wouldn't want the wrong sort of people breaking in." James's tone was light, but he did intend to put some more precautions against Death Eaters on her door. He really didn't like Lily living alone, but she argued that after seven years of constantly being surrounded by people she needed some privacy. He'd suggested that she live with her mother, but she'd opposed him firmly, not wanting to draw danger to her mom now that she was involved in the Order. James had then suggested that they could find a place together, but while Lily had agreed, his parents and her mum had held resolutely against it. Since then his mother had been dropping annoying and blatant hints that he ought to be searching for a ring.

James kissed her before he helped her bring her groceries in before waving his wand and sending them to the kitchen. He'd once levitated the groceries from the corridor, but Lily had thrown a fit (when are you going to get it through your thick head that I live in a building of muggles!).

He watched Lily set her purse on a hook behind the door and slip off her shoes. Despite her smile, she looked as if she had been replacing sleep with coffee. Was her hair a little bit duller? "So, what's for dinner?" he asked as he trailed her to the kitchen, hoping his visit would relax her enough so that she would sleep. They had both been putting so much energy into the Order of late.

Lily chuckled. "I thought you would prefer your mother's cooking to mine."

"Is that a hint?" He smirked as he leaned against the doorway of her kitchen. With a final flourish of her wand, the final groceries settled into their places.

"You're welcome to stay of course. I guessed that I might find you here, so we're having Shepherd's pie and I bought a surprise for dessert."

"Excellent," he agreed.

Lily smiled up at him as she began waving her wand and directing the food and pots and pans about the kitchen.

"How'd you learn how to cook magically?"

She laughed and waved her hand toward the living room. "Books. Oh, and a few lessons from your mum."

James's eyes widened. He never remembered his mother allowing a guest to help her in the kitchen; then again, maybe she considered Lily family. Lily saw his surprise and shook her head. "James, I don't always go over your house to see you."

"You don't?" The words left his mouth before he could stop them. But in a moment he didn't mind because Lily threw back her head and laughed. He loved the way her red hair slid down her back and her eyes curved upward with the lift of her cheeks.

"No." A faint blush settled over her cheeks. "But I miss you when you're not there."

James's grin hurt as he moved toward her to kiss her, but she waved him off. "You're just going to distract me while I'm trying to cook. Please make yourself useful instead of getting into mischief."

He pulled his face into innocent bemusement. "Me? Mischief? I am deeply wounded by such an accusation my dear lady."

Lily chuckled and swatted his arm. "Just do as you're told."

James bowed to her, his bangs flopping into his eyes. "As you wish." But before he turned he grabbed her around the shoulders and pulled her into a kiss.

"To keep me going through my labors," he teased when he let her go.

Lily rolled her eyes and added something green to the potatoes with a jerk of her wand. "You're not doing _that_ much work since you'll be using your wand."

She saw the sly grin spreading across his face and pursed her lips, pointing at him threateningly with her wand. "Don't you dare, James Potter."

"Alright, alright. But you shouldn't give me such a warm opening."

James yelped when something stung his arm. "I was serious," she said without apology as she turned back to her mashed potatoes.

When dinner was ready, James took a seat at Lily's small dining room table. Sirius often teased him about "playing house" with Lily, but James couldn't care less, especially as the aroma of Lily's cooking wafted through the flat. There was a reason she'd been good in potions.

"Okay, yeah you had books, but no one cooks this well from a book," he told her, helping himself to a large portion of the Shepherd's pie.

Lily set a butterbeer in front of him and sat down. "Yeah, well, you learn really fast when your mum can't cook. I love her dearly, but cooking was never one of my mother's strengths. I hope it tastes as good as it smells. I did something a little different this time."

James was hardly paying attention as he shoveled a huge forkful into his mouth and began to chew. The meat tasted odd, but not bad, just a little drier than usual.

"I made it with venison," Lily told him. "Do you like it?"

James choked as he felt his stomach stir. Venison? Deer? He tried to swallow but he couldn't force the lump of food, which now felt like lead on his tongue, down.

"James what is it?" Lily cried as he jumped up from the table and ran for the kitchen. He leaned over the rubbish bin and spat out the pie. He continued to spit, trying to expel the taste from his mouth.

"Are you okay? I didn't think it was that bad…," Lily handed him a glass of water when he straightened up.

James gulped it down and tried to conceal a shiver. He had nearly eaten a deer, possibly a stag. He had to force the thought away to keep his stomach in place. "I don't eat venison," he told her after he'd swirled the last bit of water around in his mouth and spat it into the sink.

"Oh. But you seemed to like it at first."

"Until I knew what it was," he snapped and then closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. It wasn't her fault that she didn't know what he was.

Lily crossed her arms. "What's wrong with venison?"

James tried to find an excuse but nothing was coming to him. He glanced around almost as if Remus and Sirius would appear to help him.

"James, what's going on?"

"When I was younger I found a baby deer in the woods near my house. Its mother never came for it and my parents let me take care of it." James almost sighed in relief as he pulled a long face. "I couldn't think of eating Merlin."

Lily turned toward the wall, chewing her lip. "James, why are you lying to me?"

"Lily, I'm not—," but he couldn't refute the lie when she turned to look at him, her eye twitching, indicating the tears soon to come. How did she know that he was lying?

"James, what is going on?" Her voice shook and he reached for her, but she stepped back. Lily's forehead folded in a cold scowl.

He regretted not starting with the truth, but the trouble was, this wasn't just his secret. It was Remus's, Peter's, and Sirius's as well. Maybe if he'd told her before it wouldn't have been so bad; he could have devised some other story, but it was too late now. James still hesitated, caught, not for the first time, between his friends and Lily.

Lily's lips shifted and twitched as if she didn't know what she wanted to do with them. Her green eyes were unsettling; he'd never seen her so angry. How could her eyes be sparking and yet sending chills down his back?

James looked away, unable to stand her glare any longer. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the cabinet. "I'm a stag." There was no reply for a long time and he had begun to wonder if she'd even heard.

Then, "You mean, you're actually—but how?" She could barely get the words out.

James swallowed. "I'm an animagus."

"James Potter, I swear if you're lying..."

He closed his eyes and stepped away from the cabinet, turning toward her. He concentrated for a moment before he felt his arms lengthening and his back sinking forward. James heard Lily's gasp as he opened his eyes and shifted. Her kitchen, already small for two people, was even more uncomfortable in his current form.

"James?"

Lily moved toward him and he snorted as her fingers hesitantly brushed his nose. He allowed her to finger his antlers before he closed his eyes and changed back. He expected to be hailed with questions, but she just stared at him, blinking.

"When were you going to tell me, James?" she whispered, her eye twitching dangerously. One mockingly plump tear curved from her eyes and his insides plummeted to his feet.

"Lils—,"

"When, when James?" she demanded, her voice rising. "When were you going to tell me that you're an illegal animagus? Were you ever going to tell me?"

James blushed guiltily at her words. Would he have ever told her? Did it matter? Why did she need to know _everything_ about him? She was acting like she was entitled to know. He scowled. "I told you about the cloak and map," he argued. "Why did you need to know about this?"

Lily threw up her hands. "Because James, it's _illegal._"

He crossed his arms over his chest and felt his lips curve into a sneer worthy of Severus Snape. "So what're you going to do, Little Miss Perfect? Turn me in?"

"No, but I don't want to be blindsided if someone does come after you," she shot back.

James nearly winced; she had a point. "No one's coming after me!"

Lily's eyebrows wrinkled and she jabbed him in the chest. "You are so egotistical! You think that you're so bloody brilliant that the consequences are never going to catch up to you. James, when are you going to realize that life isn't Hogwarts? Azkaban is not some little detention!"

"Some things are more important than Azkaban!"

"Like what? Proving that you're the brilliant James Potter?" she spat scornfully.

She'd overstepped the line and from the widening of her eyes, he could see that she saw it on his face. James clenched his fists as he felt his wand warming in his back pocket. "For your information, Evans," he snarled, "there is a valid reason. I did it because I cared for someone, no matter what secrets there were."

Her petit features slackened in shock, but still she pressed on. "If you'd just—,"

James exploded. "So it's all my fault is it, Evans? It's always my fault, because you're too bloody perfect, aren't you? Maybe I never told you because I knew that you'd react like this!"

Somewhere toward the back of his mind he felt a tug of regret at the tears pouring down her face, but he was too angry to let it take over now. He was tired of apologizing, of explaining himself.

"Part of the reason I'm reacting like _this_ is because you tried to lie to me, Potter!"

"And you've always told me the truth?" he challenged.

She just looked at him. Her eyes were lost behind a blur of tears. But he knew. He knew that she always had, at least in the most important things.

Lily spun and hurtled from the kitchen. A few moments later he heard her bedroom door slam.

James realized that he was breathing hard from their argument. It was no point going after her right now: both of their tempers were running so high from stress and lack of sleep. He might come back later. James stomped toward her front door, trying to let out the last of his quickly receding anger. He was about to leave when his empty stomach remembered Lily had said there was a surprise dessert.

He went to her kitchen and opened a few cabinets before he found it. It was a treacle tart, his absolute favorite dessert, from his favorite bakery. James felt the heat drain from his face and then he quietly shut the cabinet and left for a walk.

By the time he returned, he had found one tarnished silver lining. At least Lily now knew that he was an animagus.


	20. Chapter 20:Children

_The music acommpaniament to this piece was Pale by Within Temptation. Still on the theme track. Enjoy._

You watch, unnoticed, from the doorway as she examines herself in the mirror. A small, secretive smile makes her lips softly curl upward like the petal of a rose as her brilliant green eyes rest on her middle. She brings a hand to the slight protrusion and turns to the side, her smile broadening as the growing swell of her belly becomes even more defined.

Your breath is rapidly seeping from you as something tightens in your torso so that all you want to do is find a way to fold her into you, to meld her to you, into you. You're out of air when you realize that the child growing inside of her _is_ a fusion of her and you and you nearly choke. But somehow you stay silent, mesmerized as her lips ebb and flow in a noiseless whisper.

Her eyelids flutter shut and her shoulders float downward in a sigh. One eyebrow arches and her head tilts slightly to the side. It's as if she's listening, as if she hears and feels the child's reply to whatever query or statement that she made.

A few months ago, you would never have predicted this situation and though you wonder if you're ready, you would not swerve from this…fate, destiny? Or are those words too great for this? Is this but one more repetition in the ancient cycle of life? It does not seem so. Everyone said that you both were foolish, bringing a child into this blighted world, even as peril swarmed around you, leaving a threatening sting that at any moment could swell to death. And though neither of you planned it, expected it, perhaps it was meant to be this way.

In the darkness of night, following the day that she had joyfully told you of your child, you lay awake regretting every act that had led to this path. As if sensing your fears, she had wrapped her arms around you and pulled herself to you, the softness and comforting weight of her body spreading and settling over yours, the satin of her hair draping over your shoulder. She had murmured that children were the opportunity to start over again, to right the great wrongs done in the world. Maybe you were meant to plant and cultivate the seed that could allow new growth. You told her that if that were the case, you would have to be planting a lot of seeds because there were too many evils for just one seed to handle by itself. She laughed at first and then cried, sobbed. As you held her, she wondered how she and you could protect just this one seed from the evil that was smothering the world. You had no answer and no lie. So you simply held her tighter and told her that maybe if you loved this seed enough, you could find a way to protect it. In the morning's savory light, she awoke you with a kiss and promised that no matter what, this was the most joyous mistake she and you had ever made. Among the many you had to choose from, you couldn't help but agree. Before she escaped your arms to ready for the day, her eyes had taken your heartbeat captive while she insisted that she, and nor you, could not doubt this child for there would be too many others in the world all too ready to do so. Faith, she had told you, is believing that love surmounts all.

The sunlight tangles in her red hair, as if garlands and strands of little fairy lights have been strung through it, and your heart pauses, almost painfully. Then her head lifts and her eyes open and she turns to meet your gaze, as if she sensed your presence.

She utters your name in a way that only she can: with all the tenderness that drew you to her and the barest hint of exasperation that she never quite lost after years of chiding you, yelling at you, and telling you to grow up. There's a spark in her voice that you can't quite place. For a few years you did not hear it, or ignored it, and then one day she spoke and you heard and felt something spread and unfold with in you, like a soft white sheet tumbling and unfurling from its neat fold when you hold it up. Sometimes when she speaks to you it's as if her words are penetrating to a part of you that only she knows, a driving _something_ in you that you can only glimpse in your inner peripheral vision but can never quite bring into focus.

"James."

There's something new that she's woven into your name and something different, scintillating, in her eyes when she comes to you and presses your hand to her middle. You feel the slight swell; you can see the way your fingers curve slightly, no longer able to lay flat as they used to.

And you look at her helplessly, hopelessly, in the face of the most powerful magic you've ever witnessed. Her lips curve and her eyelids lower in understanding.

"It's our child."


	21. Chapter 21:We All Float On

_Meet me in the Potions classroom just before dinner. Don't come with anyone else. _

_Potter_

Lily stared after Potter's retreating back, which was soon swallowed up in the crowd of students leaving lunch, and then stuffed his note into her pocket. What was he up to this time?

As if to echo her thoughts, Marlene snorted. "What was that all about?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Potter being Potter. He wants me to meet him somewhere."

"How come?"

"How should I know? I probably won't even go. He'll probably have Black and Lupin waiting there to scare the hell out of me so he can get a laugh."

"Maybe I should go with you then." Marlene grinned. "I've been working on my dueling skills all summer."

"No, that's okay. You have to get to dinner early so you can get some homework in before Quidditch practice."

"That won't be a problem. There's no practice tonight. We haven't even had tryouts. Potter's booked the field for next week."

"Procrastinating as usual?" Lily asked absently, consulting her schedule to see which class she had next. Her sixth year schedule had considerably fewer classes than her fifth year schedule, but she never remembered having as much homework as she had had in the past few days.

Marlene shook her head. "He doesn't mess around when it comes to Quidditch. What do you have next?"

"Free. You?"

"Umm," Marlene frowned at her already crumpled schedule. "Free, too."

Lily returned her schedule to her bag. "I don't see how Potter got captain over you."

"Don't probe healing wounds, Lils."

"Oh, sorry."

Marlene laughed and slung an arm around Lily's shoulders. "Just kidding. He deserves it, believe it or not. He's a whole different man on the Quidditch field."

"I wouldn't exactly call him a man."

"Ouch, Lily! That's a blow to any sixteen year old male's ego."

"Yeah well," Lily grumbled, "some of the sixth year boys need to get over themselves."

"Potter and Black," Marlene coughed, drawing a laugh from Lily.

"Come on, we better hurry up so we can get some homework done before class."

Marlene let her arm fall from Lily's shoulder and groaned loudly.

"You'll thank me when you pass your N.E.W.T.s with flying colors," Lily sang out as she continued on.

"You're going to work us all to death, Lily!"

"Aura'll take pity on you and save you from that fate. Now stop complaining and come on!"

Marlene grumbled something Lily couldn't hear before she easily caught up to her friend.

xxxx

Despite her earlier conviction to get her homework done, Lily found that by the time she left the library for Transfiguration, she had only read a page of the Charms reading and completed a useless outline for her Potions essay.

The entire time that she had sat across from Marlene's bent head Lily had been unable to resist the temptation to toy with the letter in her pocket. Was Potter up to something? What did he have to say to her after last year? She would certainly be happy, no thrilled, if they never spoke again. Lily swallowed and reflexively glanced around the library, but he wasn't in sight. She didn't know if she was upset or thankful Severus wasn't there to beg her to reconsider their friendship. No, Lily had little to say to Potter. But it wasn't really Potter's fault that Severus had called her a…a mudblood. Sure Potter brought out the worst in Severus, but could Potter be held accountable? Lily's childish side cried out an indignant "yes," Potter was responsible for all of this. Her mature logic though didn't allow her to completely condemn him though. So what did he have to say to her? There was no taunting, no mischievous grin when he handed her the note. Was he up to something? Was she just wasting her time meeting him? Wasn't she? But the note was searing a hole in her pocket and in her brain and she knew she would wonder later on what he wanted.

"You're awfully quiet," observed Mary, when she met up with Marlene and Lily on the way to Transfiguration.

"Potter asked her to meet him in an empty classroom," Marlene informed her.

"So what's the problem?"

Lily blinked at Mary. "What's the problem? Who knows what Potter's up to?"

Mary rolled her eyes impatiently. "Lily he's not going to come up with anything you can't handle."

Marlene grinned mischievously. "That is unless he's waiting there to propose to her."

"No, Lily'll just hex him until even his own mother won't recognize him."

"If he kisses her."

"Lily won't let him get close enough."

"If he comes from behind."

"I'm sure Lily will have her wand ready."

Lily, stewing in her doubts, ignored her friends as Marlene continued to throw out scenarios and Mary confidently shut each one down.

xxxx

Lily got to the room early, her wand drawn as she first checked the classroom for any "surprises" Potter may have set up. Satisfied that the room was clear, she took a seat in the back of the room where she would see Potter before he spotted her. It wasn't long before she heard a lone pair of footsteps stop outside the door. They paused and Lily held her breath. Maybe she shouldn't have come. Potter never had anything important to say anyway.

Frantically, she looked for a place to hide before he opened the door. He'd think she'd stood him up and then he'd leave.

Lily bolted for a cabinet near Professor Slughorn's desk just as the door opened.

"Oh."

The word was drawn from each of them simultaneously as they paused in their movement to watch one another warily.

"You're early."

"Yeah," Lily replied stupidly, unable to think of anything else to say. She nearly winced, but restrained herself. Let Potter choose what he wanted the word to mean.

Potter cleared his throat and stepped into the classroom. Lily raised her wand warily, but he held up his hands, letting her know he didn't have his wand at the ready.

"You came."

"Obviously."

Potter's face squirmed and his hand leapt up to plough through his hair. He turned and shut the door. He was brave, or stupid, leaving his back open to her wand.

"Hurry up, I don't want to be late for dinner," Lily snapped, her anger at him rising uncalled upon.

Potter turned toward her and shoved his hands into his pockets. "I wanted to say sorry," he mumbled in a rush.

"Well this is a new side of the great James Potter." Lily drawled, crossing her arms. What the hell was going on here?

"Lily—,"

"Evans."

"Evans, I'm really sorry about," his face contorted as if the words were getting stuck in his mouth, "about what happened at the lake last year."

Lily felt her jaw slacken and then reeled it back in with a click of her teeth. Potter's face was oddly earnest, as if he really meant what he said. Well, this was certainly a change. Marlene and Mary hadn't covered this possibility. She watched him as he stood there, his hands in his pockets as he stared back at her. He obviously had said as much as he meant to say at the moment.

"What are you sorry for?" she asked carefully.

"About the whole—well, you know, the you-know-what-word thing," he mumbled, looking away from her. He obviously hadn't expected her question.

Lily swallowed. "You didn't call me a mudblood."

He winced at the word, and she ground her teeth as he once again shoved a hand through his hair. She wanted to shave the jungle off his head so he'd stop dragging his fingers through it. "I was the cause of it."

"Aren't you sorry for what you did to Severus?"

Potter suddenly looked bemused as he blinked at her and adjusted his glasses on his face. "I thought you weren't friends anymore."

"We're not."

His eyebrows knit. "So what does Snivellus have to do with this?"

Lily threw up her hands. "Potter, you were bullying him!"

"Not really, but what does that have to do with you?"

"Everything, Potter!"

"Look, I'm trying to apologize here, Evans!"

"For what, though?"

"I told you," he snapped, for the first time showing his agitation, "for what he called you."

"That's for Severus to apologize for, which he already has."

"Then what am I supposed to be sorry for?" he threw at her, his hazel eyes darkening.

"I don't know, you're the one who asked me to come here. But maybe for bullying Severus, for making fun of people just because they're not as "popular" as you are!"

"What does that have to do with you?"  
"Are you really that thick, Potter?" Lily spat.

Potter scowled and his mouth inched toward a sneer. "No, I'm just trying to figure out why you always have to pretend to be so righteous. I try to apologize and you act like I've wronged you a hundred times over."

Lily felt the heat rising in her cheeks, and her wand slipped around in her sweaty palm. "That's a pretty close estimate, Potter."

"You know what, forget about it! Forget I ever apologized!"

He turned to fling the door open and found himself upside down in the air.

"Put me down, Evans!" he roared, glaring at her as he tried to keep his glasses on his face.

"I really don't think I will."

His face reddened, though Lily couldn't tell if it was purely from the blood flow to his head. "I'd've let you get a look if you'd just asked."

"You're not in a position to be a smart arse, Potter," Lily told him coolly.

He sneered. "I didn't know little Miss Perfect Prefect swore."

"Shut up, Potter. I'm trying to figure out what to do with you."

"Don't expect me to ever apologize to you again!"

"I would've listened if you'd apologized for bullying my friend and taunting me when I stood up for him. Now shut up."

Potter heaved out an angry breath as he dangled in the air before her. His scowl faded slightly when Lily grinned at him.

xxxx

Potter's roars of protest faded as Lily put a silencing spell on the door and danced away to dinner. She'd be afraid of detention if Professor Slughorn weren't the one likely to find Potter.

"How'd the meeting with Potter go?" asked Mary as Lily slid into the place that they had saved for her.

Lily barely contained her grin. "He's still cooling off from the fight we had."

"Over what?" asked Carlotta curiously.

Lily shrugged. "The usual."

"How angry is he? He's not going to take it out on us in a surprise Quidditch practice is he?" asked Marlene.

Lily couldn't hold back her grin any longer. "Oh well, you know, he'll get over it and…float on."

And she wouldn't say anymore.

xxxx

Sirius and Remus roared with laughter when the three marauders found their errant member at one o'clock in morning.

James was sitting in nothing but his boxers in a chair far above the floor of the Potion's classroom, his arms crossed as he scowled down at them.

"Shut up, Padfoot, I can't even feel my legs anymore," James rasped, his voice hoarse from yelling.

"Did she put you in time out?" Peter asked timidly.

"Just get me down," snapped James.

"I told you to bring your wand," Sirius gasped through his laughter.

"I did. She took it from me and put it on the floor."

Peter shook his head as he desperately tried to suppress his laughter. "Hell knows no fury like a woman's wrath."

"It's 'a woman scorned' you idiot," croaked James, "and just get me down. Actually no, let Remus and Sirius do that. I don't want to break anything."

"Why'd she take off your clothes, mate?" Sirius called up, holding his hand out to Remus so he wouldn't let James down until he answered.

"She told me that if I was so eager to show off other people's underpants, I could show off mine to the entire Potions class or Hogwart's faculty," James replied, knowing his "best friend" wouldn't let him down without an answer.

"Maybe we should leave you up there," Remus joked.

"It's not funny!" James's shout was ineffectual with his absent voice.

"I don't know, mate, it kind of is." Sirius took out his wand. "So, guess it didn't go over as well as you thought it would? Even you in your boxers didn't incur Lily's sympathy."

James scowled and Sirius howled. "Did she tell you it wasn't worth it?"

"I'm never going to hear the end of this," groaned James.

"We can always see what Professor McGonagall thinks tomorrow morning!"

"Padfoot, Moony, shut up and get me down off this bloody chair!"

**I didn't want to give it away at the beginning, but James sitting in a chair above the floor was inspired from a scene in the musical Spring Awakening (my new favorite musical!) where Melchior, the lead male, sits in a chair several feet off the stage for several songs. The scene is preceeded by the song Totally F...ed, which I felt appropriate to James's plight and therefore used as my inspirational song.**


	22. Chapter 22:Chess

James

When his parents figured out that he enjoyed watching things destroy one another just as much as he enjoyed destructing things himself, his father immediately taught him how to play chess

He had never understood why the queen defended the king until he met Lily Evans-they were forces to be reckoned with

When he found out that Lily Evans didn't know how to play chess, he almost offered to teach her. Until he realized that he had to have something that he could best her at

When he asked McGonagall to teach him how to enchant the chess pieces to move across the board, she had no idea what an integral part she was playing in the development of the Marauder's Map

Remus called them pawns, Sirius declared that they were knights, Dumbledore said they were rooks, but no matter what they were, he didn't like Lily playing in this game against Voldemort

Lily

It was a stupid thing to remember, but their first fight had been over chess—the game was so loud and she had been trying to do her homework

Even she was enthralled when he played a true game of chess: as much as she hated to admit it, he was brilliant

He could tease all he wanted; she wasn't stupid enough to play a game of chess against him. That is until she practiced some more…

The first time she beat him, he claimed it was luck. The second time she won, he said he was rusty. The third time she beat him, he kissed her on the lips and told her that he had to get something out of the humiliation. Only to find himself further humiliated when his eyebrows were singed off

The game had flipped on them so suddenly—one moment they were the ones defending the king and the next they had become the king, with the black forces honing in on them and the white forces defending them 


	23. Chapter 23: Life

Life

"You're awfully quiet," observed Mrs. Evans. "Is everything all right, love?"

Lily slumped in her seat, burying her face in her hands. "No," she moaned. "Everything is all wrong. I _cannot_ believe this. This is _not _happening to me." She lifted her face from her hands, beseechingly holding them out to her mother. "Please tell me this is not happening!"

Alarmed at her daughter's atypical histrionics, Mrs. Evans took her eyes from the road for a second. "What on earth is the matter, Lily?"

"Everything!" cried Lily, her voice rising an octave. "There has to be something wrong. Because this cannot be happening!"

Realizing that her first question had, apparently, been too broad, Mrs. Evans angled for more specifics. "Was everything all right at school this year?"

"Yes. No! I am so _stupid_! I mean, ughhhh!" Lily thumped her head back against the headrest.

Clearly, the question was still too broad. "Well, why don't we try talking out the problem," Lily's mother suggested. "If we can lay everything out on the table, we may come to a solution."

"But I have, Mum!" wailed Lily. "I've thought and talked it out until I think I'll go crazy! My friends already think I'm off my rocker because I've been muttering to myself."

Mrs. Evans flexed her grip on the steering wheel. Lily was too distracted to notice her mother's impatience. "What is it, then?"

A traffic light permitted Mrs. Evans to give her daughter her full attention. Lily looked to be on the verge of tears. Her green eyes were shinning behind a gloss of tears, and her lips trembled as she drew in quick, shallow breaths. Her knuckles were white from gripping the seatbelt. What in heaven's name was the matter with the girl?

Lily sniffed and blinked up at the roof of the car. "I—Mum, I _like_ James Potter. Like, like like him!" She ran her finger under each of her eyes, trying to hold off her tears.

The light turned green before Mrs. Evans could find a reply. "Well, is that such a bad thing, darling?" she asked carefully as she pulled off. She really wasn't surprised by the revelation. Certainly, the two had their differences, but no one, not even Lily's close friends, featured so prominently throughout Lily's letters. Indeed, most of the James Potter commentary was complaints about his abysmal (though amusing) behavior, his latest antics, his numerous attempts and successes at antagonizing Lily and the latest display of the strength of his ego, but Lily seemed to write about him compulsively; there was not a single letter that did not mention at least something about the Potter boy.

It was quiet for so long that Mrs. Evans snuck another glance at her daughter. Lily's face was puckered with betrayal. Her expression was so sincere that Mrs. Evans quickly turned her eyes back to the road. Clearly, she was supposed to be as affronted by the revelation as her daughter. Well, if Lily was looking for someone to share her horror, it would be better if she shared the news with her father. _He_ would have a few choice things to say about his daughter liking the boy who had supposedly nearly drowned her in the lake.

Lily managed to regain her voice. "It's not supposed to happen like this, Mum! I'm not supposed to like such a rude, insufferable, cruel prat who torments my best friend! What kind of friend does that make me?"

"Dear, you cannot help who you like. It doesn't matter how your friends feel about that person. Why don't you just wait it out, love? Crushes pass. It won't be pleasant while it lasts but I'm sure you'll be back to hating him by the second of September. He'll invariably do something to spark that temper of yours."

"I don't have a temper," protested Lily, her face relaxing a little bit. "That's just a stereotype associated with people who have red hair."

Mrs. Evans decided that it was best, considering her daughter's mood, to agree—to some degree. "Well, I suppose you keep a fairly tight rein on it."

Unfortunately, Lily didn't seem ready to move on so quickly. "Mum, why does this have to happen to me? You would think that Potter would be the last person I would ever like." She sighed heavily.

"Darling—,"

Lily wrinkled her nose and held up a hand. "Wait a second, don't tell me. Life's not fair, right?"

Mrs. Evans smiled. "Yes, something along those lines."

Lily huffed. Sitting back, she crossed her arms. "Well, if it doesn't have the decency to be fair, it could at least make _sense_."

"Usually it all makes sense in the end, dear." Mrs. Evans reached out to squeeze Lily's hand.

"Yeah, but we have to get to the end first," Lily pointed out.

"True."

They fell quiet for a few moments. "_Still_," grumbled Lily, staring through her glum reflection in the window. "James _Potter._ I mean, _come on _Lily."

Mrs. Evans cleared her throat. "Right, that's very close to what I said when I first met your father."

Lily's head banged against the window in response.


End file.
